Salt

"Let me guess, you're one of those people who thinks everyone is who they say they are." - Evelyn Salt

Thus, it continues. Yesterday, I introduced you to my most-hated subset of humanity. I dubbed these people Pretentious Asshats. Today, I would like to direct your attention to the second worst type of human being on the face of the planet. I like to refer to them as Ignorant Douche Bags. While they may seem fairly self-explanatory on the basis of their name alone, realistically, there are subtle nuances in the descriptors and characteristics of Ignorant Douche Bags which makes them near impossible to identify.

"Why?" You ask, ever-eager to hear my long-awaited and hopefully illuminating diatribe.

That's easy. Ignorant Douche Bags are near impossible to identify, because they are wholly aware of their status. You see, Ignorant Douche Bags are the type of person who knows that they are ignorant, and have made a conscious decision to remain as such. No, you didn't read wrong. Let me think of a more complete way to explain this phenomenon.

How To Lose Friends and Alienate People

"You thought Brad Pitt was a cave in Yorkshire." -- Sidney Young 

This is part one of a five part series. It was originally inspired by [this post] by Katrina, who spoke on the types of people you meet at Goodwill. I was going to talk about the five types of people I seem to have in my life, when I then realized a far more controversial, by which I mean amusing and ultimately painful, post would be to discuss the five types of people I loathe with every cilia of my essence, which is a five dollar way of saying, every fiber of my being. I should preface this with the declaration that, while I may talk about hating people a lot, I am in fact very tolerant. Far more tolerant than most, and infinitely more tolerant than some. I have a very high line of bullshit that I can endure without resorting to anger, annoyance or frustration. I have an uncanny ability to smile at anybody. There are, however, five types of people I genuinely hate, and should you find yourself in one of these categories, you are very likely to never get off of my shit list. Ever. This first post, introduction aside, is intended to specifically illustrate the first, and most serious type of person I hate. Pretentious Asshats. See image for clarification.