Gleewind : S01E04

Just The Facts: This episode, entitled Preggers, is the fourth episode of season one. It originally aired on the 23rd of September, 2009, and is fairly Kurt-centric. Who can blame them after the startling upset last episode when we learned that Kurt was gay. I know, I know, still a shocked. Ryan Murphy and his plot twists! I tell ya. Regardless, This episode also introduces us to Brittany and gives Sue her second job at a local news station, hosting an editorial portion called Sue's Corner. That said, fade in on Kurt's iPod, and his Superstar Playlist. He has selected Beyonce's Single Ladies, which is a ripped off video with ripped off dance moves, but a sensational song that really plays a prominent role in this sensational episode. Yeah, you heard me. Sensational. This is one of my top three favorite glee episodes. You'll be lucky if I say anything bad about it whatsoever. It's made of fucking magic dammit.

We find Kurt, Tina and Brittany dancing in his bedroom. The dance is being filmed, assumably to be posted on myspace or youtube at a later date. This whole scene is just seventeen different kinds of hilarity. Especially when Kurt's father, Burt enters. Burt, played by Mike O'Malley, cuts the dance session short because he's busy watching Deadliest Catch. He interrogates Kurt about his outfit, and Tina suggests that football players wear them, to which Brittany adds that Kurt is on the football team, he's the kicker. That's the smallest guy on the field right? The look she gets from Kurt is to die for. Kurt's dad seems impressed, so Kurt doesn't bother correcting anything just yet. I'm sure it will happen by the end of the episode. Right? Right?! Oh crap. Shit's bouts to get real for kurt and his poppa. As a personal note, remind me never to call anybody Poppa. Ever. *shudder* That went to a very dark place in my head. As the scene prepares to shift, Burt asks if one of the girls is Kurt's girlfriend, he picks Tina, but explains that he's not ready to be exclusive just yet.

Seriously, if you're expecting any of my classic trademark commentary about the outrageousness of this episode, look elsewhere. This whole recap can be summed up in the word AWESOME. Especially as the scene changes to Terri doing lamaze exercises in her living room while Kendra and Will watch on and do some coaching. Terri doesn't let Will touch her belly, mostly since she's not pregnant and has had to start padding her tummy in order to appear pregnant. Oh, don't you remember? She's not actually pregnant. She's four months along at this point, according to the time line presented in the show. Terri sends Will to make a BLT, and tells Kendra the truth. Kendra isn't so surprised by this revelation really. In fact she says, "Are you insane? Dishonesty is food to a marriage. It will die without it." Kendra is also the one who has the smashing idea to get a different baby.

RIIIIIIIIIIIING! Teachers Lounge. Will can't find anybody to sit with, and ends up sitting with Ken and Emma, who are dating btdubs. They discuss the local news, which is where we discover that Sue has her editorial segment. Sue discusses spoiling the rod, and beating the children. Will incredulously asks why they'd do such a thing, which prompts Sue to explain, from off-stage right, that she's a local celebrity and has perks. She brings donuts for everybody. How nice. She talks about herself for a while, and throws some lovely insults about Emma, Ken and Will. There's nothing like mental illness, being 40/single and going to the salon every week to have your hair permed to make me laugh like a Death Eater at a Mudblood picnic. HPRFTW.  She leaves, which cuts to the choir room.

Will is handing out sheet music, and Rachel is pissed, big surprise. Rachel's all butthurt because she didn't get the lead in this song, Tina did. There's some blahblah which leads Will to tell Rachel to clam up and be happy for Tina. Said song is from Westside Story. Add to all this drama the fact that Mercedes is all pissy about being a Jet, and you've got the makings for a sensational scene from glee. Oh wait... So, Rachel storms off, and Artie reminds us that "The more times she storm out of rehearsal, the less impact it has." Everybody congratulates Tina, despite Rachel's failure. As the scene shifts, Kurt approaches Finn to ask him for a favor. After denying his sexuality, clearly because he's in love with Finn and doesn't want him to be weirded out, we learn that Kurt wants to try out for the football team. Begrudgingly, Finn agrees to help.

On the football field, Kurt approaches the team and says he's going to audition for the role of kicker. He sets up his music, which happens to be the song we've already seen. Naturally, he kicks the ball dead through the uprights like nobody's business. It's really a sensational scene that combines the two extremes of this high school. The whole football team looks on in total awe and silence before Ken names Kurt as the new kicker for the WMHS Titans. Kurt asks if he can use his music in games, and Ken says if he kicks like that, he can wear a tutu. All in all, effing fantastic. There is nothing more amusing than seeing the resident gay boy out-perform all the jocks. It's kind of like returning to high school for me, where the resident gay boy was the most popular kid in school, and the jocks were mostly retarded.

After a trip to Sue's office, we find Finn and Quinn in the hall. She's crying and she says, "I'm Pregnant." WHAT?! Plot Twist! Ryan Murphy, you sly dog you! Quinn says that it's from a recent bit of grinding in the hot tub, something about it being the perfect temperature for sperm. We see the mailman again. It was fantastic. I really love this effing mailman. I love this whole episode. Made of pure awesomeness. This is a commerical break, which leads to Sue meeting a kimono-clad Sandy Ryerson in his apartment. They discuss a new position that Sue has created for the sole purpose of eliminating glee club by stealing Rachel Berry. Sue's idea is to set up Sandy as the Arts Administrator, where he will run a production of Cabaret with Celine Dion audition songs.

How did Sue pull that off, you ask? Well, It seems that sometime ago, Principal Figgins recorded a PSa for Mumbai Air, regarding anti-embolism stockings to be worn on long flights. Sue threatens to post the video on youtube if he doesn't do precisely what she wants him to do. This is how you do black mail. Seriously. Rachel sings Taking Chances by Celine Dion, and of course gets the lead which will be taking all of her time, limiting her influence in Glee club for a few episodes. What's that mean? That means that Sue can work to eliminate the glee club effortlessly by forcing other people to do it for her. There is a brief argument in the principal's office, and Will has a discussion with Rachel where he admits he is her biggest, and sometimes only fan. I really hate Rachel Berry. She's such a cunt, especially since Santana's voice is made of magical glee gold. The one complaint I'llhave about this episode is that they focus WAY too much on Rachel. I'm nto even a fan of Lea Michele TBH. God I feel like a bad gay.

Tina gets her first solo, which is not autotuned at all. It's beautiful. She blows the last note, on purpose, and stutters her way through an apology for sucking. She stutters. Did I not bring that up until now? It's probably because before this episode, she's said maybe twelve lines. As tina leave, Finn shows up, crying. Will takes Finn out to dinner, and they discuss Finn's future, and how he doesn't want to become one of those guys that doesn't leave this town. Finn suggests that Will teach the football team some dance moves to help loosen them up. Will is up for it, if Ken will approve the idea. Ken seems ok with it, after Will talks him into it. Finn sweetens up the deal by saying that getting the football team to win a game will probably get more guys interested in glee.

The Scheusters brush their teeth, and Will unloads on Terri, who gets the GREAT idea to take Quinn's baby. In the lockeroom, Will explains his idea to the football team and Ken agrees, saying that they lost their pride when they lost a game to a school for the deaf. Awesome. This team is laughable, at best. In the choir room, Kurt teaches the team how to do the Single Ladies dance, and it's just plain hilarious. There are some great moves and some sensational reactions to Kurt. We get our first views of Mike and the other guy, who will be joining glee club. Finn and Puck have a quick discussion, in which Puck discovers Quinn's secret.

We then immediately discover that Puck is the father, because he got Quinn drunk on wine coolers and she felt fat that day. Running to her car, crying, she finds Terri waiting in her car. Terri suggests that Quinn give her the baby. She convinces her by giving her prenatal vitamins. She says to take them "three times a day or your baby will be ugly." Soon after, we find ourselves back on the football field. This episode has excellent pacing. it is effortless and smooth. Everything falls right in line and blends together effortlessly.

The football team plays their game and pretty much fails the entire time. It's down to the wire, Kurt's dad is in the stands, as are Emma and Will. On top of that, there's a great line in which we discover that Puck slept with the mother of one of the opposing team members. With just a few seconds left in the quarter, Finn calls a time out, and they discuss what play to call. Returning back to the field, they go with Ring On It, on three. This can only be explained with the following screencaps. After dancing to Single Ladies, they get a touchdown, and Kurt kicks the field goal for the win. Dad is all kinds of proud of his son, and everything is happy funtimes.

Having won their first game ever, everybody is thrilled, except Puck, who gets all butthurt when Finn and Quinn kiss in celebration. Cut to Kurt's bedroom, where he is doing his after-game skin care. his dad congratulates him and tells him how proud he is. They have an NBC moment, where Kurt says, "I'm gay." Burt's response? "I know."

After asking how, Burt responds by saying, "I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels." While not totally in love with the idea, he loves Kurt and supports him. It's a really touching moment that is indicative of the response my mother gave me when I told her I was gay. Before leaving though, he checks to make sure Kurt is definitely sure about this.

In the school hall, Finn gives Quinn his baby blanket, which is emotional. Puck hints that he knows everything about the prenancy, and Finn tells him to back off. Next, we have a brief scene where Sue has yet another Sue's Corner. She reveals her secret, "Sue Sylvester's not afraid to shake things up." In the meantime, we meet Noah Puckerman, Matt Rutherfield and Mike Chang who join the glee club, and finally, Rachel quits glee to focus on Cabaret. In the end, Sue says, "There's not much of a difference between a stadium of cheering fans, and an angry crowd yelling abuse at you. They're both just making a lot of noise.  How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they're cheering for you. Do that and someday, they will."

And that's how I see it.