Salt

"Let me guess, you're one of those people who thinks everyone is who they say they are." - Evelyn Salt

Thus, it continues. Yesterday, I introduced you to my most-hated subset of humanity. I dubbed these people Pretentious Asshats. Today, I would like to direct your attention to the second worst type of human being on the face of the planet. I like to refer to them as Ignorant Douche Bags. While they may seem fairly self-explanatory on the basis of their name alone, realistically, there are subtle nuances in the descriptors and characteristics of Ignorant Douche Bags which makes them near impossible to identify.

"Why?" You ask, ever-eager to hear my long-awaited and hopefully illuminating diatribe.

That's easy. Ignorant Douche Bags are near impossible to identify, because they are wholly aware of their status. You see, Ignorant Douche Bags are the type of person who knows that they are ignorant, and have made a conscious decision to remain as such. No, you didn't read wrong. Let me think of a more complete way to explain this phenomenon.



Have you ever met a high school graduate who couldn't spell worth shit? Or somebody who gained every bit of their knowledge they have from Fox news? Or worse, from Wikipedia? These are the kind of people I'm meaning. These are people who have been afforded every opportunity to exhibit a strong grasp on the world we live in, the finer points of the English language, but for whatever reason, they have made an assertive effort to remain ignorant of their surroundings, and the infinite amount of information available to them.

These people go to great lengths to stay in their bubbles of idiocy and have managed to avoid intelligent information in a way that so few people have managed to do. If corrected, or challenged in any way, they will fight tooth and nail to maintain their status quo. These are people who do not believe in the existence of atomic particles. These are the people who believe the world is <10,000 years old. These are the people who pick and choose which parts of the bible they wish to preach and adhere to.These are the people who see nothing wrong with two women having sex, but the second they see two men holding hands, they reach for their rifles.

For these reasons, Ignorant Douche Bags garner the number two spot on my list of the five types of people I hate.