Were The World Mine

"If you could make someone love you, would you?"

So, let me begin by saying that I have had some time to cool down in this regard. Let me also state that Katrina didn't vote. Similarly noted would be the fact that I did vote. These things said, I would like it to be known that those who didn't vote forfeit their right to bitch, moan, groan, whine or complain. Likewise, anybody who voted for a third party or a write-in candidate threw their vote away and should go the route of Raphus cucullatus and just go away already. Nobody wants you here until we get a true third-party option. (If anybody brings up Ralph Nader, I will hunt you down, kill you and use your skin to bind pamphlets about the upcoming homostruggle.) Now that I've got all of that out of the way...

CONGRATULATIONS! Ladies and gentlemen, we have managed to push Civil rights back about forty years! You should all be very proud of yourselves! I anticipate that within the next year we will see riots comparable to Stonewall. Think I'm overreacting? I don't. In fact, I can cite instances in modern history, within the past year where violence and denial of basic civil rights to homosexuals has led to a palpable sense of impending reaction. So far, we've managed to keep our cool. We're gay, we spontaneously excrete culture in all of its many forms. We can't be seen as aggressors. We have a sense of decorum and presentation to maintain. I don't see either lasting much longer at this point.

Taking into account the recent string of suicides by young men in direct response to anti-gay bullying as well as the social conservative take over that we as voters are now responsible for, I can see no other logical outcome than a full-out, no-holds-barred, brawl between the intelligent masses, and the fuckwad conservative douche-tools.

I suggested, in jest, during my election post, that I was expecting to see Separate But Equal pop up again only sub gay for black. I swear, I was just joking, then a couple of days ago, at work, a group of us were standing outside taking a break, when the subject of gay rights came up. Now, I'm out at work. Everybody knows Josh likes boys, so I'm sure the more conservative people were holding back, when one of them said, "I don't care if the gays get their way, I just don't wanna see it. Why don't we just make gay schools for them to teach at? and like make gay bathrooms so they don't look at my junk and stuff."

Are you kidding me? Really? Somebody actually came up with this thought. Somebody, in our country, in the year 2010, managed to genuinely think this is a good idea? What? WHAT?! I can just see it now, Gay Schools filled with Home Economics, Choir, and Lady Gaga Appreciation 101! All of the teachers are kept abreast of the latest Fall fashions so as to punish those students dressed unbefitting of their gay station. We'll have our own water fountains, something motion activated of course because we can't possibly be brought to touch the fountain itself. We'll have our own bathrooms just a little to the left of your bathrooms, they'll have black lights, and strobes in them and opening the door to take a peek inside will result in a wave of techno and trance music. We'll have gay swimming pools with bubbles and a light show, and even a gay police force to take care of handing out fashion tickets for anybody seen wearing fingerless gloves or anything sold in the As Seen on TV catalog.

You know ... now that I write all that down, why not. Let's do this America! Let's just self-segregate our gay selves. We'll take over Celebration, Florida and create Gaytown, USA. Maybe one day, we can secede and become Gaytown, Gayland the happiest place on earth.

Or, we could grow the fuck up, and recognize that we aren't the first, and won't be the last, group of people to be discriminated against because of something beyond our control. I am deeply disappointed in all of the people of our nation right now, Gay and Straight, everything in-between and beyond. This is the turning point for our society, and we are not making the right decisions. Frankly, when the backwater, bass-ackwards state of Iowa is ahead of the curve on Gay Rights, there must be something wrong.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"It's astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll."

It's Friday, the 29th of October. Kaka and Josh have decided that the only logical place to be, and thing to do on the Friday preluding the best holiday of the year, is the midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at Omaha's historic Dundee Theatre. It isn't often that we have the opportunity to go to the midnight shows at Dundee. I usually head into work at god-hates-me-o'clock in the morning so it's not easy to get out late at night and catch a movie; especially one that requires plenty of lead-in and recovery. This is halloween weekend though, my favorite night of the year, so I feel like I *need* this despite having to go into work at 4 the next morning.

Kaka, that's Katrina to you, shows up at the apartment a little before 6:00 pm and we decide to get dressed. Half because I want to have plenty of time to do my make-up, half because I want to go shopping and get food before we go, half because I want to get some drinks before hand, and half because I just want to be ridiculous. We do our hair and make-up. I go light and understated because I'm very classic and demure and don't want to make a big deal. That is where the sarcasm ends, hell, I'm a boy in a damn dress. Not just a dress, an effing ball-gown I look like Frank & Magenta had a love child and then had sex with her. In short, I'm effing fabulous.

Miss Katrina dons a dress she borrowed from me, and her 'Gaga' blazer. The slit on the side of the dress is like DAMN, and the blazer was part of a fantastic Masquerade costume from back in May. We topped off her look with a pair of RealD glasses with the lenses popped out, very brad-chic. So we're dressed, we're looking good, feeling good, being all kinds of smexy, and we decide to head out.

We need to make a few stops up in this bitch 'fo we get on our way.
1: Walmart - I need new eyelashes and fake nails.
2: Home - To get Katrina's phone because it needs charged.
3: Goodwill - To show off and pick up long-gloves.
4: My Mom's - For costuming assistance.
5: The Old Dundee Bar - For drinks.
6: The 1020 - For more drinks.
7: McDonald's - For Bad-For-Us Foodstuffs
8: The Old Dundee Bar - For More Drinks again.
9: The Theatre - For the movie, duh.

We go to Walmart and make the heterosexuals uncomfortable. Keep in mind, we live in Nebraska, accepting that it is Halloween Weekend, we are still less-than acceptably dressed. I make my purchases, and Kaka gets what she needs,the whole time amusedly discussing the lack of comfort we're spreading through the store. It always brings me great joy to make people feel creeped out, it's like a game for me.

We run home, get Kaka's phone and grab my pink flask from the freezer. It's filled with some pretty intense vodka, and we collect ourselves for the lengthy journey into Omaha to Kaka's workplace, which isn't far from my mother's house.

Fast-forward. We meet the gayest man ever, which is a lot coming from me. We go to see my mother and her DOTM, then onward to say hello to my grandmother, and then to Midtown/Dundee. The BIGGEST LONG ISLAND EVAR was accompanied by a glimpse of a stalky hipster boy, but I don't want to get into him just yet. I'm going to let Kaka pick which of the characters we each get to talk about over the next few blog posts. I feel like this night was just too damn much to squeeze into one posting.

So the charactes and stories from th evening are as follows:
1: Imaginary Hipster Boy
2: Creepy Chimo-Farmer Dad
3: Big Mac (with cheese)
4: Red Shirts (they always die first)
5: The Show (of the rocky picture and horror varieties)
6: Sexy Copper with a Tape Recorder