Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows : Part One, Installment 2

Firstly, let me apologize for waiting so long to post my review for the second half of the latest potter film. I had it finished, and was moments away from posting it, when I was abruptly contacted by no less than four people who frequent this blog and happen to be good friends of mine. All of whom begged me not to post the remainder until the film had been out at least a week. So, it sat in my computer waiting to be posted. In the meantime, I got so distracted by other bits and pieces of blogworthiness and real life, that I completely let it slip my mind until last evning when the lovely Essie McClay reminded me that I hadn't posted it yet. So, here I am fresh home from job1, posting said completion for your enjoyment.

When we last left our Potter Pals, Harry, Ron and Hermione were at the Black household discussing the whereabouts of the Locket that Regulus Black sotle from Voldemort quite sometime ago. We learn that Mundungus Douchebag has stolen it, along with a number of other possessions which Kreacher is none-too-thrilled about losing to the bastard. Harry's suspicions that ownership fo Kreacher reverted to him after Sirius' death is once and for all confirmed when he commands Kreacher to find and deliver Mundungus.

The next few scenes are of Death Eaters searching for Harry. While visually stunning, they seem a bit unneeded. Cutting to the Undesirable posters, we stop in at the Ministry, where we get to FINALLY see my FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF HARRY POTTER!  I mean Dolores Umbridge of course. She lets out her signature giggle of delight and there is some dark music followed by the declaration that the Ministry is looking in blood purity, suggesting that the Death Eaters have taken control of the Ministry of Magic.

Cut back to the Black household, to find that Dobby, that annoying little fucker, and Kreacher, the grumpy little elf, have brought Douchebag to Harry. They confront him about the locket, while Dobby spends the time being an obnoxious little shit. God I wish he'd just die already. No seriously. I definitely said that in my head when I was reading the book. We discover that Dolores has taken the locket from Mundungus, which means that in order to retrieve it, The Potter Pals must go to the Ministry.

i don't even want to talk about the upcoming scene. It pisses me off. It is so unexplained in the movie. The book did a much better job at making it make sense. *sigh* They take on the form of three Ministry Employees through the use of Polyjuice potion. I really do love that this has become a catch-all for them. I am not thrilled about the polyjuice use, or the fact that it doesn't work in the movies like it does in the books, but I will sugger through it.

Entering the Ministry via toilet, our three heroes meet up and head to the courtyard, where we see a STUNNING rendition of the central statue. I'm very happy about the attention to detail paid to the statue. It was wonderfully described in the books, which made me thrilled. TPP hop onto an elevator, and we don't get to see the inter-office memos. I really liked them, but I guess I will just deal with it. The Wonka-vator stops, and lets on Dolores, looking adorable in her cute little pink two-piece suit. Harry gets off, and heads for Umbridge's office. The MudBlood Danger Pamphlets are looking beautiful, as are the toys from WWW which allow Harry to get into Dolores' office to search for the locket.

Her office is just as amazing as it was at hogwarts, cute little porcelain cups, and kitties everywhere. Harry looks for the locket, but finds, instead, some interesting documents with regards to the Order of the Phoenix Members, including a heart-wrenching one of Albus. While it isn't shown, harry grabs Mad-Eye's eye, and reunites with Ron to go meet up with Hermione in the HORRIBLE recreation of the trial. I remember reading this scene and loving it for the palpable sense of fear that washed over me while I envisioned it. The dichotomy of Dolores is terrifying and makes me giddy with delight. They get the locket, as Harry unpolyjuices, and they make a rather messy escape.

The interjection of humor into these scenes was much needed. Asmuch as it would have suited the film to have been dark and terrible the entire time, it jsut doesn't make for entertainment and the sharp contrasts are a beautifl device to lure the audience into a false sense of security.

I will pause and say that the apparation scene as they escape the ministry is disappointing. It is too fast, and blurry to make much sense at all. if you hadn't read the book, it wouldn't make sense that they're in the woods, and would make even less sense as to why they aren't at the Black household. Ron loses a chunk of his shoulder, and Hermione sets to setting up protection enchantments, while Harry pulls out the Wizard tent, which is the most amazing invention ever. Plain and simple, if anybody out there has magic, I will trade you sexual favors for a Wizard's Tent. I'm just sayin'.

Pointlessly, they try to destroy the locket with magic via wand. Ron has this amazing look on his face the whole time. Something in between 'what's that smell' and 'well that was boring'. He gets all smartassed too, which sets the scene for Harry being pissed at him for the next few weeks.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that they spend the next eighteen chapters of the book jsut wandering aimlessly through the woods? Yeah. This is probably the most boring part of the movie, Matter of fact, aside from the memories of Dumbledore that Harry gets from the locket, you could probably take a nap if you were at the theatre. There is a fight between H, H & R. Eventually, Ron leaves the group. I HATE it when he leaves, and where he goes. le sigh. He's supposed to go home, but of course, for whatever reason, he doesn't. It's kind of fucking annoying really. Such a small detail that doesn't need anything more than a line to acknowledge it, and they don't bother.

Before he leaves though, they come to the shocking realization that the sword will destroy the horcruxes. It's not like any retard could have figured that out ages ago or anything. Another relocation to another part of the middle of fucking nowhere, which includes more moping and angst than I've ever seen in my entire fucking life. It's like this whole twenty-minute portion is nothing just an exercise in emo-fashion-Harry.

FINALLY, Harry kisses the snitch, which reads, "I open at the close.". Likewise, Hermione stops being a dumbass, and finds the sign of the Deathly Hallows, and Harry makes the tie back to Luna's daddy. On top of that, all of a sudden, shit goes forward, when Harry suggests they go to Godric's Hollow.

They meet a disguised Nagini, who tries to eat Harry. Dark lord gets summoned, and they escape to ... you guessed it, the fucking woods again. Doe patronus in the woods leads Harry to a frozen lake, which happens to have the sword at the bottom. Diving in, he starts to drown thanks to the death-locket. Ron saves the day, which is when we learn that he wasn't at home like he was supposed to be. Ron destroys the locket with the sword, we now have three horcruxes down, with four more to go. Well... kinda.

For those keeping score at home: Tom Riddle's Diary: Done. Marvolo Gaunt's Ring: Done. Salazar Slytherin's Locket: Done. Remaining are: Helga Hufflepuff's Cup, hiding in the Lestrange Family Vault. Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem, hiding in the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts Castle. Nagini, which is next to Voldemort's side at all times starting now, and even in a flating bubble of awesome later on, and finally, Harry Potter himself. This is where I point out that absolutely nothing else to move the story forward to the inevitable conclusion happens in either the book of the movie until the battle at Hogwarts which happens in the last two chapters of the book.

Yep. All of those horcruxes, yep, all getting destroyed at the end of the next film.

After some heartwamring blahblah, they go to see Mr. Lovegood who tells them about the deathly hallows, and in the meantime, summons death eaters. I really love the illustrations of the story. It really is beautiful. There is something about abstract computer generated images that really gets my heart moving. It really is beautiful. post-betrayal, the Potter Pals go running through the ... wait for it .... wait for it .... WAIT FOR IT! Through the mother-fucking woods. Where they are captured, and taken to the Malfoy Manor. By the way, still not albino peacocks. Seriously, how hard would it have been to get a few albino peacocks? dammit. harry is disguised by Hermione, and they continue with a number of flashes of Voldemort searching for the Elder Wand.

Oh, in case you didn't know, because there is no fucking explanation in the movie, Voldemort is looking for the elder wand because he thinks it can overcome the connection he shares with Harry and cause him pain. The other two hallows would be Harry's invisibility cloak, and Marvolo Gaunt's ring. Oh btw, the wand is in Dumbledore's tomb, you know the big white one?

Anyway, the Potter Pals are being held captive at the Malfoy Manor, along with Olivader and Luna and some others. Harry uses a shard of a magic mirror to converse with Dumbledore's brother, who sends Dobby while a captive goblin tells the Lestrange bitch that  the sword she has stolen from Harry and Pals is a fake.

The best lines in the entire movie are, unfortunately, spoken by Dobby. When asked if he can help the others escape from the dungeon, Dobby replies, "Of course sir, I'm an elf." When accused of almost killing Bellatrix Lestrange, Dobby says, "Dobby never meant to kill anyone, only maim, or seriously injure."

There is a huge fight, some people get disarmed, and some other people get hurt. Again, Dobby saves the fucking day. We're supposed to like him and his annoyingness. As the appears on the beach with Harry, Hermione and Ron, he is standing with a knife in him.

Harry give him a proper burial, no magic involved. Finally, the movie ends with Voldemort breaking into Dumbledore's tomb and taking the elder wand.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows : Part One

Here there be spoilers. Beware all ye that dare tread on unknown ground this is my very quick review and recap of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One.

Before the opening credits have even begun, we are assaulted with headlines and voice over declaring the world of magic in a state of turmoil. Sightings of the dark mark have caused widesprad panic, and attacks on muggles have led both magic and muggle alike to fear and worry. Warner Bros did a fantastic job setting the tone early on in the film letting us all know that dark times are ahead. A truly touching moment is Hermione as she obliviates her parents.

If you haven't read the book, or seen the film yet, this is where you should stop reading. I'm not joking with you. Stop. Don't go any further. You have been adequately warned. Or warned enough for me to not feel bad about the spoilers.

Following the title sequence, we tag along with the ever menacing Severus Snape as he enters the  Malfoy residence. I have to admit, I was slightly disappointed to not see his albino peacocks. It is just a small piece of the setting, but it is one that I take great joy in considering my love of peacocks in general, even when you consider the great peacock attack of 2007. I digress though, Severus enters and the death eaters are shown sitting at the Malfoy dining table, with Ms. Burbage levitating in her pre-kedavra'd state. Nagini is looking lovely, as always, and the Dark Lord is terrifying to behold. After a bit of blah blah, Burbage is killed. Grats to Tom Felton for the look of sheer awe and terror on his face when Burbage is kedavra'd.

Cutting to Harry saying his goodbyes to the not-quite-home he not-quite-loved all of these years. He makes a visit to the cupboard under the stairs providing a look of sadness and woe that I was sure Daniel Radcliffe wasn't capable of when I was in highschool and these movies first started. They keep with the lore and mythos of the movies, with the creation, ingestion and workings of polyjuice potion as his friends and compatriots take on Harry's form to fool the death eaters. Off they go.

We are blessed with a  beautiful scene involving some great cinematography and a welcome change in comparison to our unfortunate experience with The Last Airbender. The green-screening is stunning in this film. I suppose it's only natural with the superior quality of the films thusfar. I am a little disappointed that hedwig is how Voldemort discovers the real Harry. I liked it far more when Stan was a big part of it. The return of Threstrals was a nice touch that made up for the lack of albino peacocks

Hedwig dying performed its job very well. It made death very real very quickly, by 20 minutes into the film, we have been prepared and told that characters we have grown to love have and will die. I very much enjoyed the look of loss in Radcliffe's eyes after Hedwig's death.

Arriving at the Weasley household, we have the expected fear and paranoia. There is a bit of confusion, as it to beanticipated, as we discover that, off-screen, mad Eye Moody has been killed, as Mundungus Fletcher, the rotten little sneak-thief took off almost immediately after their take off from the house on Privet. There is a moment of solace, as they discover further that George has lost an ear, no more identical twins it would seem.

Harry has a bad dream, as he remembers Dumbledore. Then, Ginny and he share an awkward, though entirely romantic kiss, which is quickly made more awkward by George getting a bit of something to drink.

There are some minor story developments which lead to the arrival of the Minister of Magic. I'm again disappointed though. There is little, if any mention of Bill & Fleur's wedding. The preparations were some of the funniest, heartwarmingiest moments in the entire book and I really wanted to have them be a part of the film in an effort to counteract the recent deaths and throw people off guard for a few minutes. It would have been nice to at least have some passing references to Fleur's obnoxious family.

The Minister gives Harry, Ron & Hermione Albus Dumbledore's legacy, and we continue on with the story. There are a few nice one-liners that weren't in the book, but nothing to write home to mom about. Beforeyou know it, we're having a wedding! Nothing like a future werewolf and an Eighth-Veela getting married to set the tone in a time when magical blood purity is the biggest deal since the boy who lived ... lived.

Regrettably, the managed to fail miserably at one very important aspect of the wedding. harry just sort of wanders about all willy-nilly. No joke. No polyjuice potion to be seen. Way to piss me off WB. Isn't he supposed to be hiding? I mean come on! No wonder the death eaters crash the wedding.

We finally get a scene with Luna's lovely father! This makes me needlessly thrilled. He is of course wearing the symbol of the Deathly Hallows, and soon after we get to hear bitchy old people be gossipy! Yay! Old people FTW!

Learning of the Minister's death, the fight scene at the wedding begins and ends almost instantly. I should take a moment to compliment the apparation effects are absolutely sensational. There is nothing more fantastic than these special effects.

We of course have the chase scene that lasts all of twelve minutes, including a few brief stops to sit and wait, and some divergence of information. It is a nice exposition, and the pacing, while awkward, works very well. Harry informs Rona and Hermione about the Horcruxes and they settled on 12 Grimauld Place as their hiding location for the time being. This of course annoys the shit out of Kreacher, but proves to be ever useful as they continue their ongoing planning and plotting for the coming trials and tribulations.

This brings us to about 45 minutes into the film. We discover the whereabouts of the locket that Harry and Dumbledore thought they had found previously. I'm not entirely thrilled with the lack of bonding with Kreacher, but Ihave already, by this point, made the decision that I'm going to just accept all of this as artitic license. As long as they get the really good stuff, that's all I care about.

About halfway through the film, I will take a break for the day, and deliver part two of my review/recap tomorrow afternoon.