Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows : Part One, Installment 2

Firstly, let me apologize for waiting so long to post my review for the second half of the latest potter film. I had it finished, and was moments away from posting it, when I was abruptly contacted by no less than four people who frequent this blog and happen to be good friends of mine. All of whom begged me not to post the remainder until the film had been out at least a week. So, it sat in my computer waiting to be posted. In the meantime, I got so distracted by other bits and pieces of blogworthiness and real life, that I completely let it slip my mind until last evning when the lovely Essie McClay reminded me that I hadn't posted it yet. So, here I am fresh home from job1, posting said completion for your enjoyment.

When we last left our Potter Pals, Harry, Ron and Hermione were at the Black household discussing the whereabouts of the Locket that Regulus Black sotle from Voldemort quite sometime ago. We learn that Mundungus Douchebag has stolen it, along with a number of other possessions which Kreacher is none-too-thrilled about losing to the bastard. Harry's suspicions that ownership fo Kreacher reverted to him after Sirius' death is once and for all confirmed when he commands Kreacher to find and deliver Mundungus.

The next few scenes are of Death Eaters searching for Harry. While visually stunning, they seem a bit unneeded. Cutting to the Undesirable posters, we stop in at the Ministry, where we get to FINALLY see my FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF HARRY POTTER!  I mean Dolores Umbridge of course. She lets out her signature giggle of delight and there is some dark music followed by the declaration that the Ministry is looking in blood purity, suggesting that the Death Eaters have taken control of the Ministry of Magic.

Cut back to the Black household, to find that Dobby, that annoying little fucker, and Kreacher, the grumpy little elf, have brought Douchebag to Harry. They confront him about the locket, while Dobby spends the time being an obnoxious little shit. God I wish he'd just die already. No seriously. I definitely said that in my head when I was reading the book. We discover that Dolores has taken the locket from Mundungus, which means that in order to retrieve it, The Potter Pals must go to the Ministry.

i don't even want to talk about the upcoming scene. It pisses me off. It is so unexplained in the movie. The book did a much better job at making it make sense. *sigh* They take on the form of three Ministry Employees through the use of Polyjuice potion. I really do love that this has become a catch-all for them. I am not thrilled about the polyjuice use, or the fact that it doesn't work in the movies like it does in the books, but I will sugger through it.

Entering the Ministry via toilet, our three heroes meet up and head to the courtyard, where we see a STUNNING rendition of the central statue. I'm very happy about the attention to detail paid to the statue. It was wonderfully described in the books, which made me thrilled. TPP hop onto an elevator, and we don't get to see the inter-office memos. I really liked them, but I guess I will just deal with it. The Wonka-vator stops, and lets on Dolores, looking adorable in her cute little pink two-piece suit. Harry gets off, and heads for Umbridge's office. The MudBlood Danger Pamphlets are looking beautiful, as are the toys from WWW which allow Harry to get into Dolores' office to search for the locket.

Her office is just as amazing as it was at hogwarts, cute little porcelain cups, and kitties everywhere. Harry looks for the locket, but finds, instead, some interesting documents with regards to the Order of the Phoenix Members, including a heart-wrenching one of Albus. While it isn't shown, harry grabs Mad-Eye's eye, and reunites with Ron to go meet up with Hermione in the HORRIBLE recreation of the trial. I remember reading this scene and loving it for the palpable sense of fear that washed over me while I envisioned it. The dichotomy of Dolores is terrifying and makes me giddy with delight. They get the locket, as Harry unpolyjuices, and they make a rather messy escape.

The interjection of humor into these scenes was much needed. Asmuch as it would have suited the film to have been dark and terrible the entire time, it jsut doesn't make for entertainment and the sharp contrasts are a beautifl device to lure the audience into a false sense of security.

I will pause and say that the apparation scene as they escape the ministry is disappointing. It is too fast, and blurry to make much sense at all. if you hadn't read the book, it wouldn't make sense that they're in the woods, and would make even less sense as to why they aren't at the Black household. Ron loses a chunk of his shoulder, and Hermione sets to setting up protection enchantments, while Harry pulls out the Wizard tent, which is the most amazing invention ever. Plain and simple, if anybody out there has magic, I will trade you sexual favors for a Wizard's Tent. I'm just sayin'.

Pointlessly, they try to destroy the locket with magic via wand. Ron has this amazing look on his face the whole time. Something in between 'what's that smell' and 'well that was boring'. He gets all smartassed too, which sets the scene for Harry being pissed at him for the next few weeks.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that they spend the next eighteen chapters of the book jsut wandering aimlessly through the woods? Yeah. This is probably the most boring part of the movie, Matter of fact, aside from the memories of Dumbledore that Harry gets from the locket, you could probably take a nap if you were at the theatre. There is a fight between H, H & R. Eventually, Ron leaves the group. I HATE it when he leaves, and where he goes. le sigh. He's supposed to go home, but of course, for whatever reason, he doesn't. It's kind of fucking annoying really. Such a small detail that doesn't need anything more than a line to acknowledge it, and they don't bother.

Before he leaves though, they come to the shocking realization that the sword will destroy the horcruxes. It's not like any retard could have figured that out ages ago or anything. Another relocation to another part of the middle of fucking nowhere, which includes more moping and angst than I've ever seen in my entire fucking life. It's like this whole twenty-minute portion is nothing just an exercise in emo-fashion-Harry.

FINALLY, Harry kisses the snitch, which reads, "I open at the close.". Likewise, Hermione stops being a dumbass, and finds the sign of the Deathly Hallows, and Harry makes the tie back to Luna's daddy. On top of that, all of a sudden, shit goes forward, when Harry suggests they go to Godric's Hollow.

They meet a disguised Nagini, who tries to eat Harry. Dark lord gets summoned, and they escape to ... you guessed it, the fucking woods again. Doe patronus in the woods leads Harry to a frozen lake, which happens to have the sword at the bottom. Diving in, he starts to drown thanks to the death-locket. Ron saves the day, which is when we learn that he wasn't at home like he was supposed to be. Ron destroys the locket with the sword, we now have three horcruxes down, with four more to go. Well... kinda.

For those keeping score at home: Tom Riddle's Diary: Done. Marvolo Gaunt's Ring: Done. Salazar Slytherin's Locket: Done. Remaining are: Helga Hufflepuff's Cup, hiding in the Lestrange Family Vault. Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem, hiding in the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts Castle. Nagini, which is next to Voldemort's side at all times starting now, and even in a flating bubble of awesome later on, and finally, Harry Potter himself. This is where I point out that absolutely nothing else to move the story forward to the inevitable conclusion happens in either the book of the movie until the battle at Hogwarts which happens in the last two chapters of the book.

Yep. All of those horcruxes, yep, all getting destroyed at the end of the next film.

After some heartwamring blahblah, they go to see Mr. Lovegood who tells them about the deathly hallows, and in the meantime, summons death eaters. I really love the illustrations of the story. It really is beautiful. There is something about abstract computer generated images that really gets my heart moving. It really is beautiful. post-betrayal, the Potter Pals go running through the ... wait for it .... wait for it .... WAIT FOR IT! Through the mother-fucking woods. Where they are captured, and taken to the Malfoy Manor. By the way, still not albino peacocks. Seriously, how hard would it have been to get a few albino peacocks? dammit. harry is disguised by Hermione, and they continue with a number of flashes of Voldemort searching for the Elder Wand.

Oh, in case you didn't know, because there is no fucking explanation in the movie, Voldemort is looking for the elder wand because he thinks it can overcome the connection he shares with Harry and cause him pain. The other two hallows would be Harry's invisibility cloak, and Marvolo Gaunt's ring. Oh btw, the wand is in Dumbledore's tomb, you know the big white one?

Anyway, the Potter Pals are being held captive at the Malfoy Manor, along with Olivader and Luna and some others. Harry uses a shard of a magic mirror to converse with Dumbledore's brother, who sends Dobby while a captive goblin tells the Lestrange bitch that  the sword she has stolen from Harry and Pals is a fake.

The best lines in the entire movie are, unfortunately, spoken by Dobby. When asked if he can help the others escape from the dungeon, Dobby replies, "Of course sir, I'm an elf." When accused of almost killing Bellatrix Lestrange, Dobby says, "Dobby never meant to kill anyone, only maim, or seriously injure."

There is a huge fight, some people get disarmed, and some other people get hurt. Again, Dobby saves the fucking day. We're supposed to like him and his annoyingness. As the appears on the beach with Harry, Hermione and Ron, he is standing with a knife in him.

Harry give him a proper burial, no magic involved. Finally, the movie ends with Voldemort breaking into Dumbledore's tomb and taking the elder wand.

GLEE : The Great Debate - Part II

David Karofsky, Sam Evans, Blaine Noname.

This has been an ongoing internal debate for the past several weeks. Combining spoilers, pre-series interviews with cast/crew, and subverted scenes/reactions from the show itself, I have decided to finally weigh in on what my brain has dubbed 'The Great Debate, Part II' It's Part II because Part I is in My internal debate as to whether or not Sam Evans is indeed gay. I'm going to weigh in on that in one sentence, "Sam Evans is indeed a homosexual character. If not, he is definitely bisexual. Period."

This said. Accepting the fact that the show is currently casting for four new male characters, at least three of which are possible recurring roles, and that interviews with Ryan Murphy, who is notorious for misleading his audience with regards to character reveals in this series so far (see also: "Idina Menzel will not be Rachel's mother"), has stated that in this current season there will be three new gay characters revealed and that one of them will be playing the role of Kurt's boyfriend, I am confident in ranking the three existing options in order from most-likely to least-likely.

1: Sam Evans. i know, I know nobody wants to believe that the golden boy is the gay one. Considering in-character statements made, reaction shots to Kurt's performances/situation/lines, tell-tale blocking and confusing character history, I am confident that he is the most logical choice, barring the revelation of a new option in the second half of the season with this current casting rush. Plain and simple, his reactions to being flat-out asked about his sexuality, his defense of Kurt, his intentional ambiguity when asked about his past, his experience at a mysterious all boys boarding school (ahem dalton), all signs point to yes. Furthermore, his near-constant obsession with his insecurities, and his immediate devotion to Quinn suggests that he has something to hide, and that he is willing to go to whatever lengths to hide it entirely.

2: Mystery New Cast Member: Described on the casting roster as follows:

MALE (18 - 20s; any ethnicity) - 18 or over to play high school. he is a football player who is takk. He should be a good-looking, well-built jock. LARGE CO-STAR, RECURRING

With Murphy's assertion that Kurt's boyfriend will be a football player, this seems like the next likely ideal. All things considered, I still rank Mystery Boy above the other two because of show canon, and future character development.

3: David Karofsky. This was originally my first pick, but while evaluating the other three options, I decided against it. I don't think Kurt has it within him to forgive the bullying and let this be a real possibility. Granted, I would be very pleasantly surprised if it did happen. I have wanted this from the beginning and I think it would add a stark, stunning new level of storytelling to the series that would be genuinely refreshing and engaging. Not to mention be a very close mirror to my first real relationship, and several other itneractions of my past. Realistically though, Karofsky will transfer away from WMHS before the end of the season, and won't return. His character, while remarkable, is neither important, nor essential in the grand-scheme of things.

4: Blaine Noname. If the character doesn't have a last name by his third appearance/reference, he's going to disappear without much effort eventually. They only gave Brittany a last name because she was promoted to primary cast. They had every intention of her only being a throw-away one-off character. If Blaine was intended to be the boyfriend, he'd have that story carved out already. if I'm proven wrong in this regard, I will be genuinely surprised, and I won't consume white chocolate for a year in repayment for my stupidity. He and Kurt will kiss. He and Kurt might even have some sort of simulated/suggested sexual experience. That is as far as it will go. I personally think that Murphy is going to use Blaine to make a point of the fact that just because two characters are gay does not mean they are going to be dating.