Enchanted

"i don't know if I'll make it through today, let alone a lifetime. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's complicated." -- Robert

Good morning. First and foremost, I'd like to thank some of my coworkers for reminding me that this is a blog post I've been wanting to write for a while. Second, I hope you're all enjoying your new year thus far. My resolutions seem to be going well enough, I have been pretty careful to watch myself. Granted, I only made the resolutions themselves yesterday, but still, one day, is a day nonetheless. Anyway, earlier today, a coworker of mine, Gihan, inquired about my religious leanings. This came about because he recently added me as a friend on facebook; as many coworkers have recently, and that resulted in him seeing that I list my religious affiliation as Theravada Buddhist. He happens to be Buddhist himself, which led to a brief conversation about religious practices, including meditation. It should come as no surprise that even before studying the three jewels, four noble truths, the eight-fold path and so on and so forth, I was heavy into meditation as a relaxation technique and a method of centering myself, my energies and, as Guru Pathik would say, align my chakras! (note: in order to read that last portion correctly, you must have seen the entirety of Avatar, and loved it.)

I am continually concerned with the lack of sense I make

Tonight I will be hanging out with some friends that I have known for at least 8 years (one of them I have known for longer, but it's easier to speak in terms of the whole). This made me head spin with blog ideas, mainly on the subject of different classes of house guest and how someone's status can change over time, but that's not what I want to talk about right now.

These people ruined me. They are all wildly intelligent, hilarious, amazing people and they set my social standard. I expect everyone I meet to be up to their par. It's sort of crushing when people disappoint me.

Intelligence is the factor most people fail at. I still (sort of) believe everyone is smart, in their own way, but I don't meet people with that in my head. I expect people to be smart my way. I believe everyone loves to read and has the ability to form coherent sentences when writing. I believe everyone has the ability to communicate and, in turn, understand complicated thoughts. I also expect them to laugh at math jokes.

Most people aren't like this. I cocooned myself with my nerdy friends for way too long and I am having difficulties adjusting my expectations. This is something I've been thinking about a lot, mainly since this summer.

Let's see. I was going to do a grand post about this, but my adventures proved a little shorter than I expected (thankfully), but let me try and explain this in terms of OK Cupid. I joined OK Cupid in a fit of "Holy shit I'm losing the post break up game, I need to go on some dates STAT!" and it went swimmingly, as mentions of the boyfriend should indicate, but I was sort of snooty. I would glance over profiles and judge people based on their ability to communicate. I didn't look at pictures really, just text. I knew I didn't want to get involved with someone who thought the letter "u" was a word again, or anyone whose texts I would have to spend unreasonable amounts of time deciphering. Is that wrong? I feel like it might be.

As is usual with my posts I'm losing my train of thought (assuming I had one to begin with). Basically I just want to say that I expect all of you to be brilliant and I want you to stop disappointing me. Crack open a book, practice writing in full sentences, see a good movie, troll TV Tropes, do something intelligent today. Okay so TV Tropes might not seem that intelligent, but it encourages analytical thought, which is one of those things I find lacking in so many people.

Slightly related but just popped into my head: TOLERANCE. Holy crap, people are douchebags sometimes. I surrounded myself exclusively with really tolerant people for a long time (probably had something to do with the intelligence factor), but the real world is scary. Yes, I am an atheist. No, I don't want you to pray for me. Yes, my roommate and most of my male friends are gay and that is totally awesome. I get a lot of raised eyebrows these days from some basic descriptions of my life. Or the people who assume Josh is a girl from some of the stories. Honestly.

(Oh and the comic is from XKCD. Blogger is weird and making it unpleasant for me to attempt to link the picture back to you, but hopefully you knew where it was from already.)

Get Real

"The strange thing is, after I, done that to you ... all I could think of doing was holding you to make it all right, and I knew, I really knew, that I've never loved anyone so much." -- John Dixon

Continuing the series concerning The Things I Have Learned from the Boys I Have Kissed, I give you the story of Adam: The Mormon from Utah. This boy happened to educate me on the power of forgetting yourself and your ideals for the sake of adventure. This is what established my mentality of moving the story forward. That mentality is important, because it has managed to make my life rather entertaining from time to time, and it is one of the few universal mandates that I observe on a daily basis.


For the sake of exposition and establishment of setting, this story takes place in June of 2005, in the Arizona High Desert, specifically, a simple place called Arcosanti where I spent several years following high school. As I'm sure you can imagine, it's hot outside. On this particular night, I was a quiet, and I mean that, quiet 20 year-old man. At that point, I had only ever kissed three people, and one of them was a girl. I had only had sex with three people, and one of them was unwillingly. I was new to the world, not even 21, which is when I would blossom into the person I genuinely enjoyed being. I was a weekend warrior, my friends and I would have adventures in the shape of parties every weekend and during the summertime, the party-place was the Arbor. It was a nicely enclosed location with a great view of the river, and a sense of inclusion to it. My best friend at the time would be Talullah-Jewel, who taught me to love red wine, and would share drinks with me when we were dancing under the stars. This was one of those parties. 

I'm not religious, but saying you're spiritual is annoying

Somehow the "power of positive thinking" has come up a lot today. Depending on who you ask I'm a pessimist (friends, family), realist (me), or optimist (lots of my coworkers). I've been trying to approach my life with a more positive attitude, but not overly optimistic, because that's foolish. I guess what I'm really trying to do is apply a pseudo-Daoist outlook.

You have to know that my only real exposure to Daoism is The Tao of Pooh and the internet. Mainly The Tao of Pooh. It's a great read if you haven't had the chance before.

So what I've taken from my minimal research is to just chill out and go with the flow. Which is pretty much the opposite of my factory settings. I'm very high strung and have an anxiety disorder, so it's a battle for me to just take a deep breath and relax.

It can really put a different spin on things though. For example, I locked my keys in my car today at work. This is something I used to do a lot, so I usually triple check that my keys are in my purse before I get out of my car. Today I did not (obviously). Instead of freaking out I thought about it, decided I probably needed a reminder to not rest on my laurels on the key checking thing, called AAA, and got it taken care of quickly. It also led me to remembering an errand I meant to run yesterday, so I got that done after AAA got me back in. Instead of freaking out and deciding the universe was out to get me, I put a slightly more positive spin on it and didn't have my night ruined.

I also try to apply this at work. Things are always going to hell at my job and I'm usually already behind the second I walk in the door. But I've taken the attitude of "work is work" and just accepting that I'll always have something to do and I don't need to freak out if I'm not where I want to be at the moment.

Driving is another big one. Rushing doesn't really get you anywhere that much faster. I rarely speed (okay I usually speed, but not more than 5 miles over and my speedometer is inaccurate by about that much), I slow down to let people merge in front of me, and I actually do what you're supposed to do at yellow lights. It makes my 40-mile round trip journey to work every day a lot less stressful.

I think the only other random piece from a religion I want to talk about is meditation. Which isn't really religious, but specifically aligning chakras. I think it's probably a bunch of bull, but when meditating to align your chakras you focus on specific problems or whatever you may be having, which is helpful. It's also weird that the chakras pretty much all line up to important nerve clusters. And you can feel a release when you're doing it right, but that's probably all in my head.





Well that's it for this random post that I pounded out to keep up the habit of posting almost every day. It's far too easy to fall back into slacker ways.

Soundtrack : The Awesomest XMAS Evar

I love music. I try to spend my entire life with a soundtrack of some sort nearby. I consider myself an intense audiophile. As such, i didn't want Katrina to get all the glory with her Christmas song suggestions. Enclosed below you will find five songs that I think everybody should include in their merry-making for the season. cheese.

Relient K's Sleigh Ride

I fell in love with this song several years ago. I was talking to a kid named Zack who lvoed Relient K. We would trade songs and he sent this one. I fell in love with the song, and later found the video. It was a great addition to my annual Holiday celebrations.

Glee's Baby, It's Cold Outside

i already loved this song long ago. The movie Elf made me see this song for it's purity and beauty. Then, who should do a cover, but the glorious it-couple, Blaine and Kurt from Glee. Their voices mesh very well, and there is a distinct air of chemistry in the song itself. I've always liked hearing traditional MF duets performed by two men, it adds a whole new level to the song itself.

Jay Brannan's Christmas Really Sucks

Ok, it's not exactly a christmas song, it's more a song that includes Christmas in the title and lyrics. Jay Brannan was the voice of my personal soundtrack for about 9 months last year, and early this year. His voice has a rare quality that makes even sadness sound beautiful.

Coke & Walmart's Extended Family

If you aren't a troll living in a cave and have been to the movies during the Holiday Season at all, you've heard this song, or seen this commercial. I actually have the mp3, and love it to death. It's light-hearted, short and full of energy. it perks me up and puts me in the xmas mood everytime.

Ertha Kitt's Santa Baby.

C'mon! It's CAT WOMAN! She's singing about the bomb ass shit she wants for Christmas. The whole time giving mad face the whole time. On top of it, she's looking seventeen different kinds of fierce too. Love the crazy eyes!

So there you have it. My picks for excellent xmas music. I have the MP3s for all five songs, and would be more than happy to share them with anybody who wants them. I am more than happy to spread the holiday joy!