"Is the dried-out, washed-up has-been having a moment?"
I H8 UR TXTSPK. I accept and acknowledge that language grows, and evolves. I understand that written communication, lexicon and pronunciation have changed drastically since the development of both written and oral communication. i also accept that we, as a people, have established a clear, well-defined, rational vocabulary, including recognized, and commonly accepted spelling, punctuation and grammar. I also acknowledge that I am not perfect. I make mistakes in spelling, punctuation and grammar, on a regular basis. I invent new words that are outrageous and irregular in design, but which are easily understood through context or roots. I am easily understood. I use full and complete sentences, whenever possible, punctuate appropriately, regardless of whether I may miss a comma, or misuse a semicolon. I am very lenient because I only read and write at a high-school graduate level.
These things said, I hate your obsessive-compulsive use of 'text-speak'. As it stands, the vast majority of adults only read and write at an 8th grade level. This is the level which includes words such as desolate, articulate, fastidious, trepidation and abet. A 12th grade reading level barely adds the terms chicanery, hegemony, participle, pulchritudinous and enervate. Adding in your SAT terms brings out words like ameliorate, whereupon, gesticulate, fruition and perigee. If you had to look up less-than five of those words, I am impressed. You can stop reading right here. If you had to look up between 5 & 8 of those words, you are ok, and I don't hold you responsible. if you had to look up more than 8 of them, I am disgusted. Why are you reading my blog? Why are we even friends? How do you function?
This is not hyperbole. I am serious. Of those fifteen terms, the most any adult, born and raised in the public school system in the United States of America, should have to look up is 6. These terms were taken from the National Assessment of Adult Literacy which was headed by the US Department of Education, Institute of Education Sciences. As of the year 2008, national studies conducted by researchers in the United States have provided a clear indication that 40% of adults either perform at, or below, basic levels of proficiency in written communication.
This isn't about literacy rates. This is about people who write the following dribble to me via their cell phones.
"i no ur bissy but can we chill 2nite?"
"I know you're busy, but can we chill tonight?"
"i cnt breack in2 ther thows r pryvit homs"
"I can't break into there. Those are private homes."
"i cant wate 4 x mas"
"I can't wait for Christmas."
"will u at less say hi 2 me its much easyer than u thnk!!!!!!! u can evan do it fia email!"
"Will you at least say, 'Hi,' to me? It's much easier than you think. You can even do it via email."
This is also about people who use numbers instead of letters. Whether it is the use of numbers to represent missing letters due to the sound (id est: 8 to replace 'ate') or the use of 'leet' whereby one replaces letters with numbers which resemble the letter in question (id est: E becomes 3, L becomes 1, A becomes 4, or T becomes 7.).
This is also about people who refuse to use punctuation in their communications. The following is a direct quote from a text I have saved in my cell specifically to point out why I hate these people.
"careful w irakli he is a desint guy bt he liks ppl 2 fall in2 traps so careful w wut u say n how u say it cuz u will dig ur hol rly fast w him."
"Careful with Irakli. He is a decent guy, but he likes people to fall into traps. So careful with what you say and how you say it, because you will dig your hole really fast with him."
Aside from causing me physical pain when I read these things, I feel emotional and mental anguish from the translation process. Are you aware that taking the extra three seconds to actually type out the entire word saves me approximately 10 minutes per text message. Again, no hyperbole here. These are legitimate figures that I have field tested. The average carrier allows for 140 uninterrupted characters in every text message. Some even go to 160 characters. You would be amazed at how much you can squeeze into 160 characters. I like to think of it as an opportunity to exercise conciseness and a chance to evaluate which characters are truly essential to convey how I feel.
I can make certain concessions for time and (mult)iTap. I can understand if you have the occasional slip up or typo in your text messages. These are to be expected. In today's modern era of knowledge, technology and awareness though, continued, constant use of these shortcuts to hell are an unforgivable offense. It is likely that I won't reply to you, and will most likely make fun of you behind your back, sometimes even to your face. If I know you, and am your friend, compatriot, coworker, family member or enemy, I would hope that your intelligence is higher than mine, if not at least on par.
Thank you, and goodnight.
Please note that I encourage, and engage in, the use of abbreviations in spoken communication and in an effort to add humor or light-heartedness to something else. Case in point, my use of GTFO in my flowchart earlier, and my common usage of IDK in common verbal communication. Please note that humor trumps any and all rules of lexicon, but should be relied upon infrequently as a excuse.
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