Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

 Drunk Guy in Yugo: "I love you so much, it's retarded."

I suppose another title for this post could be "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People' or maybe "How to Ruin a Straight Boy's Life in Ten Easy Steps" but really, this is just a brief recounting of how I asked Jakob to be my boyfriend. Straight boys, start taking notes right now, because apparently, I have put numerous boyfriends into the dog house with the following tokens of my affections.

It all started with twenty-four roses. Twelve Henri Matisse roses, and twelve Dr. Briere roses were delivered, by me, super-secret-surprise style to Jakob, seen above right afterward, at his dorm room at Peru State College. I was lucky enough to have made it all the way down without him knowing I was even going to be in the area. Which is a stretch, since it was Halloween and I had a party not far away already that I had to keep super secret from him. He was of course ecstatic and commenced wandering through his dorm hall showing them to anybody that would look. This seemingly dumped his straight male friends into a dog-condo, not quite the dog house just yet.

Unbeknownst to him, this trip to his campus was a scouting trip for me. I was searching for the perfect place to ask him out. We went for a walk which consisted primarily of him proving to some of his friends that I existed, up until now, I was a disembodied name on facebook that he had absconded to Omaha for previously. We found a non-operating fountain near the theatre on campus that I knew was perfectly almost instantly. I stored this for later use.

Having met the people most important to him, I made sure to send them friend requests on facebook. I did this because I wanted a secret way of communicating with them without the chance that Jakob would know about it. i concocted a plan to woo him and win him instantly. I had to convince him that the coming Thursday, a very busy day for him that I knew would consist of him not leaving campus for anything, was going to be just as busy for me and that I wouldn't even be able to call or text him throughout the day.

That afternoon, I forced my roomie, Kaka, that's Katrina to you, to help me blow up nearly 300 balloons and prepare them for my grandiose plan. I also went ahead and got some wooden roses, since the living ones were starting to wilt already, and made a series of cue cards for the event. While in no way over the top, it was definitely a sight to see when I arrived at the fountain a little past 5pm, to find 10 of his closest friends waiting for me.

I gave the bags of balloons (and I mean trashbags filled with inflated balloons) to his friends and I tied more balloons with incredibly sparkly ribbon tot he fountain itself. With the wind it gave a very nice illusion of water and frankly, I was satisfied. Jakob was dragged over to the staging area, while I hid behind everybody in the basin of the fountain. The balloons were released and the scattered all over the lawn as I sang 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand' by the Beatles, and one of his friends cycled through the cue cards.

Dear Jakob,

I know it's only been a couple of months

and we've only been on one real date

and we live an hour apart

and I'm a lot older than you

and we're both incredibly busy

but ...

I also know that I like you a lot

and want you to be my boyfriend.

Love, Josh

Needless to say, he accepted my proposal, and we're now dating.

What can you take from this?
a: buy flowers.
b: show up by surprise.
c: balloons = awesome.
d: love kicks ass pretty much.