Gleecap : S02E11

So I'm ... guest Gleecapping (GuGleecapping?) this episode, because for some reason I volunteered. I'm doing it sort of as a live blog in the sense that I'm about to watch the episode for the first time and will be doing my screencaps and recapping at the same time with no intention to watch the episode again tonight. So this should be interesting. Or a train wreck. Especially since my computer is doing the computer equivalent and shitting its pants and drooling at the moment. So yay!

Basic social interaction makes me want to die

Me and Glee; Me and small talk. Yeah, that's a twofer.

So the Gleecap of the Super Bowl episode is to come. Really. I'm working on it. It's already way to freaking long and I'm roughly a quarter way through the episode. I got a bit burned out on it, since I don't love Glee the same way I love Doctor Who and I got burned out on Doctor Who too so... yeah.

But I want to talk to you about banal conversations and how they are completely useless.

Warp Zones, Fast Travel, and Teleportation: Screw the Journey

Awesome!

I'm currently reading (very slowly) The Legend of Zelda And Philosophy and I'm having a very hard time getting through the first proper chapter because it is pissing me off. It is arguing that being able to skip the journey in video games is... degrading to the experience? It stops you from being able to appreciate the areas in between where you'd like to go and rips you out of the illusion of space that video games provide. I freaking love being able to fast travel (to borrow Oblivion's term) because I find going the long way in games to be extremely tedious. This also sort of applies to my life.

Voice Doppelgangers, Laundry, and Indignation

I have had a pretty terrible week. Work has been extremely stressful, my car is very angry with me, and I've been in a pretty foul mood. So I could just make a whiny blog post but...

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song

Go me!

First of all let me say that I am completely stoked that one of my posts is now the most viewed on our blog. This almost destroys my idea that no one reads my posts. Second of all I probably won't be posting much. Not that that's a change or anything. I am suffering terrible writer's block. The worst I've ever had, or at least since I started writing things. I can't even work with a prompt. I even chose the most outrageous one I could find, since writing about crazy things tends to make it easier for me to get things out, but I can't! Of course saying "I can't" is terrible and inaccurate. I could pound out some miserably terrible piece of trash and call it good enough, but I can't stop hitting delete.

Paper Man

"Are we unhappy? Or are we just pretending to be unhappy?" -- Richard Dunn

 Pretentious Asshats, check. Ignorant Douche-Bags, check. Intelli-Cunts, check. Three down. Two more to go. If you bothered to read my blog post yesterday, you'll possibly, though not probably, remember that I said this post would be about Historically Inaccurate Exes. really, though I have decided to relabel it as Anachronistic Exes. I suppose an expansion of this could be made which includes current romantic partners as well. Realistically though, I haven't had much experience with current romantic interests. I just realized though that I didn't define these people just yet. Forgive me. I should do that. My brain hasn't been making the sense it should be as of late, so I should probably offer definition first, then go on a lengthy rant about them.

Alice in Wonderland

"Well, after this, I should think nothing of falling down stairs." -- Alice 

Did you ever wake up one morning and realize that everything was changing all at once and without adequate warning or provocation? This is happening to me right now. Suddenly, I am Alice, falling down the rabbit hole, destination unknown. I find myself in this midway point where nothing makes any sense. There is no gravity, so I can't find a place to cetner, ground or focus myself. The walls are blurred and vague so I can't even get a bearing to find out which direction I'm going, for all I know, I'm going to land any day now and find that I've turned up in some mysterious land where up is down and in is under. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll end up with a smart-assed cat as a tour-guide. He'll speak in riddles and the people I meet will be essential to my ongoing development, and eventual acceptance of my fate.

The Dark Knight

"Batman has no limits" -- Bruce Wayne 

It continues. I had a lot of trouble deciding what the third type of person I hated was. not because I couldn't think of a third, but because the remaining three are pretty evenly matched in my book. you've already met the two front-runners in previous posts. First we had the Pretentious Asshats, you'll remember that they are pretty inclusive, thus their primary placement on the list. Second, we had Ignorant Douche Bags. These would be people who embrace their ignorance of the world and relish in their lack of knowledge, thus warranting their placement as second on this list. Now, we have Intelli-Cunts. Intelli-Cunts are a lot more common than Ignorant Douche Bags, but easier to deal with.

Love, Actually

"You would've broken my heart if you'd said yes." -- Juliet 

This is, I think, the last in my series regarding The Things I Have Learned From The Boys I Have Kissed. I've been considering posting this for the past month or so as I have evaluated my short-lived relationship with Jacob Buss. I am going to lose friendships with five or six people because of this post, and that is the primary reason I have tried so hard to not post a continuation of this series. As always, there is a story here but it is relatively short, compared to the previous stories I have told regarding the boys I have kissed.

Salt

"Let me guess, you're one of those people who thinks everyone is who they say they are." - Evelyn Salt

Thus, it continues. Yesterday, I introduced you to my most-hated subset of humanity. I dubbed these people Pretentious Asshats. Today, I would like to direct your attention to the second worst type of human being on the face of the planet. I like to refer to them as Ignorant Douche Bags. While they may seem fairly self-explanatory on the basis of their name alone, realistically, there are subtle nuances in the descriptors and characteristics of Ignorant Douche Bags which makes them near impossible to identify.

"Why?" You ask, ever-eager to hear my long-awaited and hopefully illuminating diatribe.

That's easy. Ignorant Douche Bags are near impossible to identify, because they are wholly aware of their status. You see, Ignorant Douche Bags are the type of person who knows that they are ignorant, and have made a conscious decision to remain as such. No, you didn't read wrong. Let me think of a more complete way to explain this phenomenon.

I definitely forgot to give this a title! Oops!

I thought finding a picture of Meredith dancing with a tequila bottle would be easy. Who knew?

I have been feeling fairly off this week, so sorry for the lack of posts. I could go on about what's wrong, but tonight sort of pushed me over the edge and right on over to the overly energetic, sort of surprisingly cheerful side of things so I will not be talking about CRANKY and OVERLY CONTEMPLATIVE Katrina today. Instead I'd like to share with a few things that make me happy. I doubt if any of them will be terribly surprising, but it's my duty as a blogger to obnoxiously obvious and constantly acting like I know better than you! (Warning: I'm getting progressively drunker as this post goes on. Sincerely, future Katrina!)

How To Lose Friends and Alienate People

"You thought Brad Pitt was a cave in Yorkshire." -- Sidney Young 

This is part one of a five part series. It was originally inspired by [this post] by Katrina, who spoke on the types of people you meet at Goodwill. I was going to talk about the five types of people I seem to have in my life, when I then realized a far more controversial, by which I mean amusing and ultimately painful, post would be to discuss the five types of people I loathe with every cilia of my essence, which is a five dollar way of saying, every fiber of my being. I should preface this with the declaration that, while I may talk about hating people a lot, I am in fact very tolerant. Far more tolerant than most, and infinitely more tolerant than some. I have a very high line of bullshit that I can endure without resorting to anger, annoyance or frustration. I have an uncanny ability to smile at anybody. There are, however, five types of people I genuinely hate, and should you find yourself in one of these categories, you are very likely to never get off of my shit list. Ever. This first post, introduction aside, is intended to specifically illustrate the first, and most serious type of person I hate. Pretentious Asshats. See image for clarification.

Gleewind : S01E14

Just The Facts: After a several month hiatus the season picks back up on the 13th of April with an episode entitled Hell-O. It's a reintroduction to the core cast, while also giving us better intros to the secondary cast, and giving us a few new characters to be fascinated with. Fresh from their 1st place finish at Sectionals, New Directions is ready and rearing to go, and so am I. Nine episodes from the close of Season One, and Fourteen episodes left to Gleewind, A lot of shit happens and childrens have a lot of shit to do before they go to their regional competition, which will mark the end of the season.

Gleewind : S01E13

 Just The Facts: Sectionals has arrived at William McKinley High School. As you'll recall from last time, shit got real. It's only going to get worse as the glee club goes to Sectionals, Will's marriage explodes, and Emma's wedding to Ken looms in the very near future. The glee club needs a new director for Sectionals, and that is just the beginning of the problems that need wrapped up before the season break. So, prepare yourselves for the exciting conclusion to Part One of Glee. After this episode aired, we had to wait for freaking ever before we got a new episode. I nearly peed myself. No joke. When they finally announced that new episodes were starting up again, I was happier than a pig in a bucket of warm mud.

The Town

"This is not the fucking-around crew" -- Adam Frawley 

Sense memory is weird. I didn't believe it existed for a long time as anything other than a subset of affective/emotional memory for method acting. I had never experienced it before 2007. It just never really mattered to me, and when people would mention it in conversation, I assumed they were full of shit. For those unaware, sense-memory is the interaction of the five senses with memory. Or, in simpler terms when some external stimuli, sight, smell, touch, taste or sound, instigates a memory recollection. It is a widely discussed, documented and studied phenomenon that has granted extensive insight for scientists, psychologists and whatnot with regard to our minds, and memories, and how they work. So, why bring this up on this particular Wednesday? Well, I have been affected by sense-memory near constantly for the past few days pretty heavily, and it got me to thinking about how I used to not even believe in its existence.

Rush Hour

"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" -- Carter

I talk a lot. It's something I've always done. I say what is on my mind and don't stop until there is nothing left to say. Sometimes, this gets me into trouble, and other times it helps me to clear the air and has alarming, and sometimes, hilarious results. As somebody who talks a lot, there is one thing I hate more than TXTSPK.

"What's that?" you ask incredulously.

Well, reader, that thing I loathe more than TXTSPK is mispronunciation of common words in a non-intentional way. Earlier today, while talking to somebody, who shall remain nameless for the sake of her shame, she uttered the word, "paradigm". However, she pronounced it phonetically, as if she had never heard the word spoken out loud. You know what, no, I was wrong. It isn't the mispronunciation that taps into a primal wellspring of ire. Instead, it is the response I get when I politely, and privately correct the mispronunciation.

Titanic

"God! Look at that thing! You would've gone straight to the bottom." -- Jack 

 So, I didn't post all weekend. I guess my mom got married, but I didn't get invited. I can't complain about not being invited. I'm not a fan of the man she's with, mostly because they've broken up and started dating again several times, resulting in phone number changes. I had two dates and quite a bit of cuddle-time. That's not what this brief post is about this post is about the tendency of my friends and family, and apparently, our readers, who have a nagging need to use outdated technologies that are ruining the world and stifling the internet, forcing us into the dark ages.

Ok, ok, maybe that's a little bit harsh. I've just been having a lot of IERage lately. I've been filling out paperwork for Netflix over the past week. The website that I've had to use requires Internet Explorer for about three-quarters of the forms that need filled out. Worst of all, is the inability to just download the fucking PDF files that I'm filling out online, and fill them in with AA9 Pro. It got me to thinking, and lured me into looking up some numbers and reliving one of my earlier posts where I shamed all of you people for using Internet Explorer.

Friday5. Not sure I'll do this again.

So Josh wants me to do a Friday5 post eh? I suppose I could give it a shot. Here's the link since they ask you to post it. And here we go.

1. What was the most recent thing to go past its expiration date in your pantry? Well let me go exploring. Be right back... not that blog posts are real time or anything. So I'm back from the kitchen. It seems our most recently expired item (as far as I can tell because a lot of the expiration dates have rubbed off) is some blue cheese dressing that went bad in October. I thought that was bad until I saw that the jar of chili peppers expired in 2009. Gross.

2. When does your excitement about the New Year usually expire? January 1st or 2nd. The New Year isn't really exciting. It sort of is when you're thinking "This year is going to be different! Really!" but that wears off pretty quickly. So the excitement wears off well before I remember to write the year correctly when writing the date.

3. What valued possession seems to be on the verge of expiration? My bed. The frame is bent so the slats fall out, which makes the entire thing fall through the frame, which resulted in the wood part of the box spring getting broken and it's all just a terrible mess. If deal with having just a mattress on the floor I'd get rid of it, but I can't embrace that super ghetto-ness just yet.

4. When does your current driver's license expire? November 17, 2014. This has been drilled in my head, but lord knows I'm going to forget and end up driving with an expired license.

5. What subscription, membership, permit, policy, or other dated document are you most likely to allow to expire next without renewal? I don't really pay for anything I don't need, so nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well maybe may lease, because this place sort of sucks. Yeah, my lease.

The Five People You Meet in Goodwill

Because when I think rocket launchers...

I wanted to apologize for not updating in a while and then I realized it's been three days. That's a completely legitimate amount of time to go in between posts, so no apology for you! Ha!

I've been spending most of my waking time at work this week so it's on my mind. I sort of hate having to interact with people all day and wish I could get a job which would involve some sort of filing and listening to This American Life on my iPod all day (which is what I do when I volunteer), but sometimes it's worth it. I thought I would catalog some of the customer archetypes I encounter often that either make me want to laugh or straight up murder someone with a rocket launcher.

Animal House

"Greg, honey is it supposed to be this soft?" -- Babs

Have you heard of the Friday Five? It's pretty awesome. I used to obsessive-compulsively update my livejournal five times a day, bare minimum. On Fridays though, I would post the weekly Friday Five in lieu of any other entries. It's a pretty simple concept. Every week, [this website] updates their blog with five questions. They usually have a theme of some sort that ties all five questions together. This week happens to be Expiration. I really like the Friday Five, because whenever I'm feeling a little desperate for a blog topic, I always have access to the previous Friday Five entries to give me a little bit of inspiration. Enjoy the blog, and feel free to steal them for your own blog. Remember to link back to the website!

Gleewind : S01E12

"You're off the Cheerios."

Just The Facts: Mattress is the twelfth episode of the season, and second to last before the break. Shit pretty much gets real. I mean seriously. While short on music, it's big on developments, and I couldn't imagine going through even a moment of the episode and getting rid of it. I'm surprised there was any room for music in this show, Ryan Murphy must have used his magic to bend space and time to fit all of this crap inside. Seriously, shit be crazy, as such, let's get right into it. I'm going to warn you, that this will probably be my longest Gleewind, and that's why I've been putting it off.

Dr. Seuss' The Cat in The Hat

Fulview is essential in this situation.

"It's a thing-thing, you wouldn't understand." -- The Cat 

 First. Stop. Click on that picture. Read it. The guy in the black is me. The other two are every couple I know. I'm not joking. It is EVERY couple I know. My mom and Clay, that couple. Kaka and Chris, that couple. Kaka and her previous boyfriend, Adam, that couple. Gina and Jake, that couple. Anne and Chris, that couple. My grandparents, that couple. I could go on. The thing is, I am never a part of that couple. Not because I'm never part of a couple, but because I'm never that disgusting in a relationship. I'm never a part of the cute, adorable, lovey-dovey couple that spends their weekends at B&Bs, or can't be seen without being wrapped in each other's arms. More importantly, I have never been in part of one of those relationships. I hate it.

Inception

"Dreams feel real while we're in them. It isn't until we wake up that we realize something was actually strange." -- Cobb

I have phobias. I mean true, crippling, life-affecting phobias. There are people who fear things, and they call these fears phobias, they are wrong. If you're afraid of spiders, you are not arachnophobic. If you have an irrational, intense and persistent fear of spiders that causes you to take outrageous efforts to avoid spiders, you are arachnophobic. So, when I say that I have phobias, I mean that I have three things in this world that I have a conscious, all-consuming, life-altering, persistent, intense, highly-irrational fear of three things/experiences/situations in my world. Most of my close friends know of one or two of them, but the third is going to be revealed for the very first time here, on Blogger. I figure if I talk about these phobias, I can inch toward taking care of them and letting them become something less than crippling. You are more than welcome to make fun of me and tease me and call me names. That is perfectly ok. I acknowledge how irrational these fears are, and have taken steps to try and be less afraid, including sharing them with my friends numerous times in the past. Every time, I am teased and belittled for them, so believe me, it will neither be a surprise or a shock. After the jump, I'll itemize them for you, in order from most-crippling, to least-crippling.

Juno

"No, It's Morgan Freeman, do you have any bones that need collected?" -- Juno

This quote has nothing to do with this blog post. It just happens to be my favorite quote from the movie. A more appropriate quote would be, "It makes his junk smell like pie." Not for the obvious reasons, because I'm subtle and do what I can to make people think about the things I say. In case you didn't know, this blog post is about how I experience attraction in threes. In fact, I experience a lot of things in threes, specifically any interpersonal relationships I've had have occurred, or developed, in threes. I privately call it my 'echo'. You see, when I was very young, I had three very close friends, and as such, I have continued this trend and have always had three very close friends at any given time. Three people that have always mattered the most to me. On top of that, my adventures in dating and attraction have always happened in threes as well. I don't know what happened to cause this, but every time I meet a great guy, I meet two more great people at the same time. Eventually, that dwindles down to one, but it never happens gradually. Suddenly, two of them will do something that drops them out of the running.

Melungeons

I stumbled upon this yesterday and it made me lol for real,
so when I thought random I thought this. 

I have a bad feeling about the nature of my posts. They are all going to be a collection of random things, because I'll be damned if I can ever focus on anything for long enough to make a full post out of it. I swear the things I get fixated on are only those things that I do not want to share with the world, which isn't a lot, because secrets are sort of silly and I have a tendency to blurt things out. Especially when I've spent the last ten minutes thinking "Okay don't tell them this, don't tell them this, don't tell them this! You're not going to! It's cool! They don't have to know" and then I see them and I'm like "THIS!" immediately. Yeah hope that made sense.

Despicable Me

"Look Mom, I drew a picture of me on the moon." -- Young Gru 

You may have noticed that this is my first post in 4 days. I'd like to say I have a very good explanation, but frankly, I really just haven't had time. In the aftermath of the hold-up, I ended up not really looking at my computer for anything other than watching movies and tv shows. Don't judge me. I've started watching How I Met Your Mother, and I've been watching scary movies. Then, two of my friends took a break, so I played the part of Best Friend Ever. Then they actually broke up, and I continued to play the part of Best Friend Ever. Then I had a date-like thing, then I was terrified of dying and even more terrified of the fact that I almost died a million times on the way to/from work. That explanation of my absence done, I wanted to talk about goals. I got to thinking about this because of my goal to update the blog daily, and failing miserably in the first ten days of the new year.

My posts are sort of like America, when it was a melting pot and not a salad bowl. Or maybe they're salad bowls. I don't know.

At least I was never as bad as Robin

I think I may have quit smoking for real you guys. I've made it through two shifts at work and a couple of days off sans cigarette. Even the huge number of smoking scenes/references on How I Met Your Mother (which Josh is now watching through) haven't made me really want one. So that's exciting. I'm sure I'll smoke again at some point, but I think I can pretty solidly say that for now the habit is kicked.

The Last Unicorn

Yeah, it was like that. 

"What's the matter with your eyes? Why can't I see myself in your eyes?!" -- King Haggard

Have you heard? Omaha is officially the least safe place in the history of humanity. After approximately 22 years of living in Omaha, I was finally robbed at gun point. The robbing itself wasn't so bad, it was the aftermath that really affected me. The whole time, I was sure I'd fallen asleep and was having the kind of nightmare that seems so real that it must be a premonition. Afterward though, after regaining the ability to text and make phone calls, I realized that I was wide awake and that what had just happened was real. Real terrifying. Anybody who looks you in the eye and says that having a gun pointed at you isn't terrifying is a fucking liar. You should punch him or her in the face and set them on fire. After the jump, I have included a narrative of the entire experience.

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

"Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous." -- Willy Wonka 

So, if you haven't heard, and I'd be impressed if you haven't, there was a shooting the other day here in Omaha. There were also shootings in New Orleans and Chandler, but those aren't as important as a school shooting, everybody knows that. In the event that you don't know the details, essentially some dumb ass kid got suspended from school and decided to take out his frustrations by shooting the principal and vice principal. Secifically, Vicki Kaspar passed away after her wounds, which is compounded by the fact that her 59th birthday would have taken place the very next day. All in all, a tragedy. Omaha hasn't gotten this much publicity since 2007 when some punk kid decided to shoot up Westroads Mall while I was working. This post isn't about the tragedy itself, this was a horrific event that is an unfortunate side-effect of our society. My heart goes out to the family, friends, co-workers and former students of this educator/administrator. This is about my lack of approval for using a tragedy to promote your own agenda.

Gleewind : S01E11

Just The Facts; I'm going to warn you now. This episode is the subject of much consternation among my friends. Mostly because I fucking loved EVERY MOMENT and they almost universally loathe and despise its very existence. The episode itself is entitled Hairography and showcases the upcoming brilliance of Brittany the breakthrough actress of this series. While predominantly dealing with preparations for sectionals, this episode also sets the tone for the upcoming season break, and the end of Will's relationship and thus the beginning of his slutty stage. oh who am I kidding, he's always been in his slutty stage. He just hasn't had much time to be slutty in the physical sense, just the emotional kind.

My So Called Life

"Sometimes, someone says something so small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart." -- Angela

I know, I know it's not a movie, it's a television show, but the quote fits the mentality of this post, which, by the by is another Soundtrack post. This particular soundtrack is my Sad Clowns playlist. My sad clowns playlist is a playlist that I have developed gradually over the past several years. it is what I listen to when I'm depressed, despondent, or otherwise feeling low. All of the songs are relatively slow and have a generally negative feel to them, but have very important positive meanings to me. They all remind me of times in my life when I've been the lowest of the low and had to overcome something big in order to recover and brings myself back to the top of my game. So, while on the outside these songs may sound sad, when I hear them, they lift my spirits without forcing me to listen to upbeat party jams. I've picked five of the songs from my playlist that mean the most to me. Give them a listen, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Alice In Wonderland Part One

I just started work on the invitations and preparations for the 8th Annual Unbirthday Party. Mark your calendars. It's going to be pretty fantastic. The party, originally dubbed the White Tea Semi-Formal was born at Arcosanti, and has traveled with me to Omaha. This will be the fourth Unbirthday Party in Nebraska. To the left, you'll see the current preliminary invitation. It will undoubtedly change numerous times over the next week while I iron out the final details of the event. I'm pretty sure I've chosen the color theme for this year though as Cerulean and Chocolate. They work well together.

Feel free to view the image in full size by clicking on it. if you have thoughts, observations or commentary, please, don't hesitate. I know this shouldn't count as a blog post, but I was pretty excited that I got around to finishing up something I was satisfied with so far.

Many topics, one post

So super blog post made me think super date which made this necessary. 

I have a reasonable number of small things to blog about, so I thought I would combine them into one, not necessarily super, but multi-topic post.

1. New Year's Resolutions

My resolutions are pretty simple. Quit smoking and quit drinking soda. So at 11:59 on December 31st I had a cigarette in one hand and a Bacardi and Coke in the other. Both of those were cast aside once the countdown was done. I've done pretty well. I broke on both yesterday, but fuck the lot of you if you think that's not doing well. I've decided quitting soda altogether is probably a little stupid, as when I had some yesterday it turned my entire shift around due to the energy it provided, so I'm thinking it'll be an emergency pick-me-up thing. Cigarettes are... whatever. I'm not smoking anymore. I'll slip up, because I will, but yeah.

Enchanted

"i don't know if I'll make it through today, let alone a lifetime. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's complicated." -- Robert

Good morning. First and foremost, I'd like to thank some of my coworkers for reminding me that this is a blog post I've been wanting to write for a while. Second, I hope you're all enjoying your new year thus far. My resolutions seem to be going well enough, I have been pretty careful to watch myself. Granted, I only made the resolutions themselves yesterday, but still, one day, is a day nonetheless. Anyway, earlier today, a coworker of mine, Gihan, inquired about my religious leanings. This came about because he recently added me as a friend on facebook; as many coworkers have recently, and that resulted in him seeing that I list my religious affiliation as Theravada Buddhist. He happens to be Buddhist himself, which led to a brief conversation about religious practices, including meditation. It should come as no surprise that even before studying the three jewels, four noble truths, the eight-fold path and so on and so forth, I was heavy into meditation as a relaxation technique and a method of centering myself, my energies and, as Guru Pathik would say, align my chakras! (note: in order to read that last portion correctly, you must have seen the entirety of Avatar, and loved it.)

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

"When life gives you lemons, just say, 'fuck the lemons,' and bail." -- Surfing Instructor 

Is it 2012 yet? People keep asking me what my resolutions for the year are. It's all I hear on the radio, every morning, all morning! Katrina is quitting soda and cigarettes. People are resolving not to work so often, or to take more time to spend with the family, lose weight, work out more ... It kind of makes me feel like a lazy sack for not having resolutions of my own. I have my resolution to blog on a more regular basis, and that's about it. I didn't used to be such a lazy git tho. I used to write out twenty resolutions every year. I even kept most of them. Well, most of most of them, mostly. Somtimes. So, in an effort to not be a lazy sack, I figure I'll come up with ten decent resolutions and act like I'm going to carry through with them. I say act like because we all know that I'm going to either forget, or give up pretty quick. That said, let's get this over with, shall we?

Traffic

"Is this like freebasing?" -- Caroline Wakefield

So, a new year has dawned! Our happy fun blog has been active for  2 months, 7 days, 22 hours, 31 minutes, and 42 seconds as of this moment. It will undoubtedly be longer once I've posted this, but you get the general idea. Kaka and I have been blogging regularly for about two months now, and the whole time has been pretty outrageous. One of the things that spark conversation in our apartment is pageviews. Kaka and I have this ongoing obsessive compulsive need to check the stats for our blog, and frankly, I can't help but be amused at the number of views we get on a regular basis, even over the past three or four days when neither of us has bothered to update the blog because we've been either dying or well ... dying. So, I figured this blog would be a nice opportunity to share some of our blog stats with you and give my thoughts on them and, by extension, our audience.

Whip It

"We deserve better villains." -- Bliss Cavendar

First and foremost, welcome to the New Year ladies & gentlemen! Did you miss me? Did you miss us? Sure you did. You have been gazing intently at facebook waiting ever-impatiently for either Kaka or I to give your lives meaning in this New Year by updating our blog and giving you something to do with yourselves. Either that, or you're bored shitless and you wanna know what's up. Well, are you in for a treat, sir, or ma'am! I am here to tell you the tale of my New Years celebration and to recount my adventures in sickland.