Christmas

So this Christmas was sort of meh. I didn't do too terribly much and, as Josh's post will demonstrate, Christmas morning was probably the best part.

I spent my Christmas Eve alone. Or that was the plan. Eventually Josh came home and boyfriend came over, but as far as just home from work Katrina knew, she would be spending the entire evening all by her lonesome. The solution was booze. Well that was also the solution to the fact that work sucked and left me extremely grumpy. I also decided that old-school live-blogging would be a good idea. I say old-school because my laptop is really a desktop due to some problems, and being in the living room was crucial to my plan. So now I will sort of transcribe what I wrote in my composition notebook that night (sort of because I occasionally drifted into drunken short hand).

So I made a mildly festive drink consisting of 1 part vodka, 2 parts Sierra Mist, some cherries and juice, and the juice squeezed from an orange slice. It was sort of green and red so that counts.

I settled in for some How I Met Your Mother, because I was waiting for Josh to leave so I could watch The Muppet Christmas Carol.

I found How I Met Your Mother to be absolutely perfect, because they were airing a couple of episodes I hadn't seen in a while with very solid jokes.

Let me transcribe a rant directed at a commercial verbatim:

"'Postive Alternatives' is such a shitty name for an anti-choice (yeah I went there)... thing. Fuck you and your bullshit! Abortions are a thing, deal with it. You probably don't believe in the pill or condoms either. If you aren't pro-life or you don't believe in contraception and you have a vagina I want to punch you. Birth control is the main reason women have an active role in society (besides shooting out babies) so STFU. Commercials piss me off."

This is how my brain works. If I'm not writing an academic type thing I tend to dissolve into nonsense. I could definitely back up my pro-choice stance with references and well thought out sentences, but that's way too much work.

I took a break to smoke a cigarette once How I Met Your Mother was over. I've been reading David Sedaris when I smoke, because it's easy to just pick up and read a little bit and not get sucked in or feel like it's pointless to read just a little. I find reading him to be a really weird experience though. He's only funny to me if I keep his voice in my head. Without that I find him to be terribly depressing. There's a Stuff White People Like post where they sort of rail against people paying to hear him read stories they've already read themselves, but I totally get that. Here it is.

And now it's Muppet time. I really haven't seen that much of the Muppets. I love The Muppet Christmas Carol, because that's what we had when I was little, and I find joy in their version of Habanera. I'm sure I've seen more than that, but it's relegated to that mildly remembered mist of things that you saw when you were little and haven't really seen since. I know this is the only Muppet movie I've seen.

I forgot to mention that I put on my giant sombrero at the start of these festivities. I put it back on for a bit at this point (perhaps it was the fact that I had made another drink at this point). Before we went to a masquerade the week before I had been sitting on the exact same spot on the couch wearing an outrageous mask and had told Josh it really makes it seem more like a David Lynch film or something, the unmoving girl on the couch wearing outrageous headgear. I like to think that if Josh ever makes a movie of his life, the me character will pop up several times not doing anything and sitting there, just in the background, sporting silly things on her head (huge sombrero, tiny hat, mask, etc.).

Here's where I decreed that I was quitting this. I wasn't going to write anymore. Which is sort of funny, because I originally opened up blogger to say I wasn't going to blog anymore for a while, but then I remembered this point in my notebook and realized it would probably end up being a lie and that I might as well just get this shit done.

And here I remembered a thought I wanted to share with you. I was listening to the Glee version of Empire State of Mind and thinking that if I wrote the Gleecaps, at that point in that episode I would have linked to the LCD Soundsystem version of the song and said they did it better. So I'll do that now. Start it around 5:25, or just listen all the way through. Whatever, I'm not the YouTube police.

I realized that The Muppet Christmas Carol may be the root of my love of meta jokes and breaking the fourth wall. Gonzo as Dickens is pretty awesome, but having Rizzo accompany him is even better. I only wrote down one quote which is this:
       Rizzo: Why are you whispering?
       Gonzo: It's for dramatic emphasis.
The whispering makes total sense unless you think about it. This movie made me question what was being handed to me in fiction, and I think it definitely helped shape my crazy.

Then I went on a rant about racism and Muppets for the rest of the night. Specifically how I think racism must not exist in the Muppet world. The clearest divide would be between normal people and Muppets, but neither appears to really hold a lower place in society. The Marleys were Muppets, so is Fozziwig. Scrooge is a person. When Gonzo and Rizzo are on the shelf in Scrooge's old school, all the historical busts appear to be of Muppetized version of people, so maybe they were Muppets too.

Oh and what's the deal with Muppet vegetables? They're for sale, presumably for eating, but do they scream when you cook them or what?

And the last thought I threw into my notebook was an old-timey Spongebob with muttonchops, top hat, and pocket watch. Make it happen internet!

Bye for now. I should probably get on the recap of the Doctor Who Christmas Carol.