Gleewind : S01E10

First of all, Merry Christmas! For those of you who celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful day. For those of you who don't, enjoy this perfectly normal Saturday.

Just The Facts: Season One, Episode Ten of Glee is the Ballad episode. It's another one of those half n' half episodes. I was torn between loving and hating it, because it has a lot going on in a relatively short block of time. Once you make it through my gleewind, you'll understand the new levels of outrageousness this show reached when I first saw this episode.

"I really don't think that's an appropriate song, Rachel."

The episode opens with Will explaining the definition of a ballad, Coincidentally, this happens to be the title of the episode. As such, let's start the buzz-word counter, shall we? 1. 2 is when Kurt says that a ballad is a love song. 3 is when Will disagrees saying that they are stories set to songs. 4 is when Will says that there is a new rule at Sectionals that says they have to perform a ballad. 5 Pick a ballad to sing to a partner. The partners are chosen at random, however, Matt Ruthuhblahblah is afk so Will is in the hat. Pairing are as follows: Puck & Mercedes, Artie & Quinn, Finn & Kurt, Tina and Mike, Santana and Brittany, and finally, Will & Rachel. The class still has some confusion about what types of songs, so Rachel suggests that she and Schuester sing Endless Love. Hilarity ensues through voice over.

"I could totally sing this song to Finn, but screw him if he thinks he's taking the Diana Ross part from me."

"I love the days that I don't wear underwear. Full comando."

 "I never noticed how nice Rachel's butt is. Oh crap, I think Quinn knows I'm staring at it"

"i never really noticed this before because he's always trying to ruin my career, but Mr. Schu has really pretty eyes."

"I don't like the way she's lookin' at me. She looks CRAZY right now."

"I had a really big lunch at school today."

After that song, which was really about the voice-overs and not the music itself, since the song be all kinds of crazy, we cut to the Fabray household, where Quinn is being fitted, by her mommy, the boozy alchi, for the Chastity Ball. Funny, right? The dress, which was custom made a month ago doesn't seem to fit right anymore. Her mom knows what's up, but methinks that such situations aren't discussed in the Fabray household. Quinn misses the support of her Cheerio's uniform. Her southern father comes in and says she should invite Finn to dinner on Sunday. As a transition, Rachel brings Will a tie with stars on it. Gold stars are kind of her thing. It's not your thing if you say it's your thing. Will is terrified. He goes to see Emma for advice. 6 is when Rachel says they're rehearsing their ballad at 4pm. 

"If we were to rank crush-worthy teachers, you'd be number one"

She says not to worry about it, which prompts him to explain the experience he had a while back involving a girl named Suzy Pepper, who put herself into a coma because she was hot for teacher. Seriously Ryan Murphy? Seriously? Come on, buddy, you can do better than that! This is probably the most outrageous thing I've ever heard, and only 8 minutes into the episode. I like the story though, it's cute and a little creepy, like most of the things I favor in this show. Will says he is afraid of what might happen if he just tells her to back off. So, Emma says to sing the denial to Rachel, with Emma there are backup/emotional support. In the auditorium, Finn & Kurt are working on their ballad. Finn loses his shit becase he's sick of people trying to force him into being something he's not, Kurt has a great line, "Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling, and inappropriate." I really adore Kurt. He's one of the best characters ever. He tries to convince Finn that girls be crazy. They have a heart-to-heart, and Kurt suggests that Finn sing to the baby in ballad form. Kurt plays I'll Stand By You on the piano, and Finn sings the hell out of it, eventually cutting to him singing to the sonogram. Of course, his mother sees this, and he has some 'splainin' to do. 

Quinn and Finn fight about telling his mother about everything. Kurt and Finn have another heart-to-heart ,where he tries to convince Finn to, 'give up girls altogether' In voice-over he admits that he's madly in love with Finn. Big surprise, right? Kurt's master-plan is to scoop up Finn once Quinn has broken his heart. In the choir room, Will sings a 'medley', that's just a pretty word for mash-up. 7: Will explains that this is a great example of how to sing a great ballad. 8 Emma is curious about the power of the ballad. So Will sings a 'medley' of Young Girl & Don't Stand So Close To Me. He tells Rachel to listen very closely to the lyrics. Emma spends the song reaffirming Will, until about half-way through when she falls in love with him too. Ok, maybe she was already in love, but you know...By the end of the song, Emma and Rachel are bonding over how cute Will is. is it just me, or is Will kind of a skank ass slut bag? I'm so not attracted to him, he's makes weird singing faces. 

In Finn's attic, we discover that Finn & Kurt's parents are pack-rats who won't let go of their dead spouse's stuffs. Kurt helps Finn pick out something to wear to the Fabray dinner on Sunday. At the Schuester household, Rachel is cooking him dinner, and cleaning his house, egged on by Terri, who doesn't feel like doing anything because she's 'pregnant'. Will drives Rachel home, and she puts a CD of crush so they can (10) Practice their ballad. Will tries to change the subject, but fails. Suzy and Rachel have a showdown in the hallway, which leads to mercedes and Puck, who tells Mercedes that he's the daddy. Mercedes suggest that everybody (11) sing a ballad to Finn & Quinn to let them know that they  got their back, yo. 

The Fabrays have dinner. Eventually, Finn goes to the bathroom to call Kurt, who tells him to trust in the power of the (12) ballad. and comes out with a stereo so that he can sing, You're Havin' My Baby to Quinn. He mentions that their assignment in glee is to sing a (13) ballad. Mom and Dad aren't happy about this development. So, Dad kicks Quinn out of the house. She moves in with Finn and his mom. Back in the choir room, Rachel says she has chosen a new (14) ballad. Wil finally shoots her down and say she's being inappropriate. Rachel had intended to sing Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Elton John, luckily she didn't because butchering that song is an act of gay treason. They have an after-school moment and Will says she's never need much help with her (15) ballads. 

Finn and Kurt meet in the auditorium and discuss what happened. It's a nice moment that foreshadows their future brotherly connection. Finn suggests they work on their (16) ballad. Kurt chose I Honestly Love You, luckily, he doesn't sing it, because Mercedes sshows up to drag them to the choir room, where Finn and Quinn are set down in the middle of the room, so that the glee club can sing a (17) ballad of Lean On Me. It's a great rendition that I genuinely love. I listen to it once or twice a day if I can pull it off. And that's what you missed on GLEE.