Just The Facts: This sixth episode, entitled Vitamin D centers around what will be a glee club annual competition between the boys and the girls. It originally aired on the Seventh of October, 2009, just four days before my twenty-mumblemuble-th birthday. It marks the first appearance of a mash-up in the show, which, frustratingly, becomes a near-constant occurrence in the show. I cannot possibly explain how very little I like mash-ups. It sucks, because, prior to Glee, I loved me some mash-ups. Legit, I own everything DJ Earworm has ever produced. I have the Booty album several times over, I'm an highly frustrated by their over-exposure in glee. It's funny, because this section is just the facts, but I use it to bitch bout or praise the episode. Get it.
Fade into the choir room, where Schu is teaching the group some new dance moves. He explains to Emma, recounting this tale over lunch, that the kids seem overly complacent and don't have the fire they used to have for performance. Sectionals is in two weeks, and the students think that they've got it in the bag. It seems a week ago, Will got the competition bracket for sectionals. They'll be competing against the Jane Adams Academy, and a School for the Deaf in Dayton. Jane Adams is a halfway house for girls just getting out of juvey, according to Mercedes. We learn that Sue has been listening in, and suggests creating a sense of competition in the club, which gives Will an idea.
Will explains to the Glee Club that he wants everybody to break up into two teams, one boys, one girls. He makes sure to remind Kurt that he belongs on the boys' side. In one week, both teams will present a mash-up, to be judged by Emma, and the winner will have their mash-up performed in their set for Sectionals. I hate that twice now, they have played on this gay kid on the girls' team thing. Truth, I would have preferred to be on the girls team most of the time in high school, but I never tried to do it. Come on, I don't know anybody who would. It just seems redic to me. Luckily, we have an even number of boys and girls now, since Matt, Mike and Puck joined glee club. After explaining what a mash-up is, the teams seem pretty stoked for the upcoming performance. The girls pretty much say they've got it owned, but the boys are "planning on smacking them down like the hand of God."
Sue writes to her journal, and expositions that she is feeling a bit down lately. Things just haven't been going her way. She catches Quinn, weak from the baby-making, quivering in a pyramid, and starts to fret about losing Nationals and, by extension, her endorsements, which means she won't be able to buy her hovercraft. No joke, legit. Those are the exact words. She approaches Quinn, who blames it on Scheuster's grueling rehearsal schedule. Lying cunty slut hobag! This only makes Sue want even more to destroy the Glee Club. She's catches on to the fact that Will and Emma are flirting, so she decides to visit Terri, and tells her that Will & Emma are playing hide the sausage. With Sue's assitance, Terri secures a position as the school nurse so as to better keep her eye on Will and keep him from straying. Will finds out about this in the Teachers Lounge, and is not pleased. There is a great line from Sue when she's describing Emma, "Real lady-killers, wears brooches like the ones my Nana was buried in." I love that Sue has a Nana.
Ken gives a talk about plays, during which, Finn voice-overs about his inability to sleep, and constant need to do so. He feels overwhelmed, and is stretched too thin. He keeps falling asleep in class, and Puck suggests going to the nurse to take a nap.So, he takes the suggestion, while the girls plot and plan for their own mash-up. The buzz-word for this episode is complacent. Mercedes suggests just winging it, and Rachel is opposed, big surprise, Rachel wants to be in charge. In the Nurse's office, Finn discusses his problems with Terri, who gives him Sudafed, instead of letting him take a nap. Correction, she gives him a nondescript decongestant. She calls it a Vitamin, and Finn takes them, leading to him being needlessly perky.
Like any good teammate, on a show that condones the use of over-the-counter drugs to boost energy and win contests, Finn brings some decongestants for everybody! Yay! Can I just say that no decongestant has ever done this to me? Seriously. I have taken many a Sudafed in my day, and not once have I been this wired. The most I get is a quick pick-me-up, and a non runny nose. How this shit turns into Meth, I'll never know. They do a hyped up mash-up of Confessions & It's My Life. I actually don't much like this performance. Despite not enjoying mash-ups anymore, I wasn't pleased with this rendition. I feel like the two songs kind of fail together, and the choreography leaves much to be desired. The costuming is pretty lame assed, and Mike Chang suddenly knows how to dance despite tripping over himself when the football team practiced the Single Ladies dance.
Bell-ring transition to Quinn in the hall. Rachel asks what's up with her, and reminds her that nobody in glee is going to judge her for her little problem. After a while, Rachel convinces Quinn to come back to practice and help them perform. Of course we get some backhanded compliments, which end when Rachel walks away. During the following scene, Terri calls up howard at Sheets N' Things and has him go to the drug store and pick up thirty-six boxes of decongestant. This is going to end very badly. As anybody who has ever tried to purchase more than one box of decongestants can tell you, attempting to buy 36 is a great way to end up on an FBI/DEA Watchlist. The same watchlist they have for people who rent DVDs on growing KB indoors. Terri and Ken have a brief convo about Emma and Will's friendship. Terri suggests that the best way to stop the Emma/Will thing is for Ken to propose marriage. Yay, fun times, right?
In the girls' rehearsal, the girls try to figure out what happened and how the boys kicked so much ass. Kurt shows his true loyalties and reveals that the boys all took something, so the girls decide to fight fire with fire, especially after bitchmoaning at Finn in the hallway. It is during this bitchmoan that we learn that Rachel is insane and wakes up at six am everyday and exercises for at least an hour before heading to school. She sets a goal, seen to the right, and declares that she's better than Finn and can win without performance enhancing drugs. Which of course cuts to the entire girls' team, except for Quinn, getting decongestants in the nurse's office. Way to be a positive role-model, Rachel.
Ken proposes with a CZ ring, which is laughable and terrifying at the same time. Back in the choir room, the girls prepare their mash-up of Walking On Sunshine and Halo. I actually adore this performance. The costume choices, decoration. Everything is perfect and it's a great combination of songs that you don't hear very often by themselves. I really just adored it. Brittany shines as the best dressed, and her hair is to DIE FOR! All in all, as far as I'm concerned, the girls win. At thirty minutes, you can stop watching the episode and everything will be the same. There are only the two songs, and everything that happens over the next twelve minutes is pretty much filler. None of it is really important.
If you want a good laugh, Howard is arrested. Terri is fired. Schuester is punished for allowing this to happen. His punishment is that Sue will be made co-director of glee club. Quinn agrees to giving up her baby and tries to blackmail Terri into paying for the doctor visits and whatnot. Emma agrees to marry ken with the conditions that she keep her last name, and live in different parts of town, and only see each other in school, and that nobody see it happen, or tell anybody. "It could be like a secret. a secret-marriage." The whole episode ends with lovelost gazes from Will & Emma in the hallway.
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